As human beings, we tend to hold onto things that we shouldn’t. We take more crap than we deserve and overall, we tend to accept things that are just not good enough for us.
When we find ourselves in toxic relationships it can be hard to move on from them. This isn’t because we don’t know that there are people out there who will treat us better but more-so because of the attachment and connection we feel for the person who is essentially bringing us down so drastically. Regardless of the details that make up the toxic relationship, we have a very hard time parting ways.
For some they stay in those toxic relationships because they think they deserve the treatment they’re getting and for others, they stay because they feel like that person needs them. I could go all day listing off different reasons why someone would stay in a toxic situation but to be honest, that would not do anyone any good. We become in a way addicted to the way we’re being treated or addicted to trying to make things work.
It’s hard to move on from someone you thought was going to be in your life forever. Someone who to begin with was everything you ever imagined wanting in another person, really think about it. To begin with, you were both so perfect for one another and then as times changed so did the connection and relationship you shared with this person. You might be emotionally attached to a degree that takes a lot to move away from or you might even just be afraid of being alone.
I know several people who stayed in toxic situations for much longer than they should have because they felt like if they left that person that he or she would be lost. They wanted to help even if it meant letting their own wellbeing fall through the cracks in the process. Sure, eventually they learned to value themselves more and did what needed to be done but not everyone ends up with that means playing out.
This is someone you’ve shared your deepest secrets with, someone you might have been with for years. A person that has seen you at your best, your worst, and possibly even held your hand through some very terrible moments in your life. Even the worst relationships have their positive moments and those, in the end, are what we cling to the most.
Being unhappy for most is not enough of a reason to leave as weird as that might sound. You might even fall victim to thinking your partner really does love you despite the things he or she does when that isn’t the case. You might normalize the abusive behaviors you’re facing and feel like you’re the one causing them even if you’re not. A lot more goes into leaving a toxic relationship than just packing your things and hitting the road.
On the outside looking in, you will never know what someone is actually going through and that’s something we need to keep in mind when considering the toxic situations other people are facing. ‘Why’ other people do the things they do or don’t do things we want them to do is not something we will ever have the answers we want for. They might be afraid, they might have low self-esteem, or they might just be overly invested.
You can’t make someone leave a situation they aren’t ready to leave as hard as that might be to accept. They have to find the strength within themselves to overcome the battles going on within themselves before leaving is possible. Offering a helping hand is great, but we can’t force people to do things they don’t want to do.
To learn more on why someone might stay in a toxic relationship please check out the video below. Things are more complicated than we usually realize and that’s something we need to come to terms with. If you’re with someone who is hurting you, please try your best to get out.
Sources:
https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-psychology-behind-remaining-in-toxic-relationships/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships