We all want to find love, and when we do finally find the person we think is the ‘one’ it can be an exciting time. However, before you jump the gun, make sure that you cover all of your bases.
Most of us like to think we know our partner, but no matter how much you think you may know, there are always some surprises after tying the knot. In some cases, those surprises can be dealbreakers – and even if that is not the case, these questions can benefit you and your partner. Not only do they allow you to get to know them better, but they can also provide clarity.
Here are 10 questions to ask before marriage.
1. Do you want kids?
This is a major question that must be asked before marriage. Even if you think that you can figure it out later on if one of you wants kids and the other does not, this isn’t likely something you can work through unless one of you will completely change what you want.
2. Where do you see yourself in five years?
When you ask this question, you are trying to get an idea of what you both have planned for the future. If you both have similar goals, that is perfect. However, you may not and that is okay too, just figure out a way to make things work.
3. Are we compatible in our spiritual beliefs and values?
You can love someone with every beat of your heart, but if you do not share the same values, it won’t work. That may be a hard pill to swallow, but some differences cannot be worked out. With that said, if you choose to agree to disagree that is fine too, just make sure you consider how that will play out if you choose to have a family.
4. Do we have any genetic illnesses that could be passed to our kids?
Make sure to be upfront about genetic issues in your family. If you haven’t thought of this yet, this could help you both decide how you want to build a family.
5. How will we handle major obstacles?
Obstacles will arise. No relationship is perfect, and there will be problems. The major thing is understanding how to work through them when they happen.
6. What are we working on to become better people?
We should all be working on ourselves because no one is perfect. We all have room to grow. Ask your partner what their issues are and share yours.
7. What are our current issues, and how can they be fixed?
No matter how in love you may be, there are likely some things you would change if you could. That is perfectly acceptable, and it’s better to face them now and find a way through.
8. How do we plan to commit to keeping the spark alive?
The spark is strong at first, but it will fade. When it does, you need to be on the same page regarding how you plan to reignite it.
9. If we encounter issues, would you be open to counseling?
If issues come up, are you both open to counseling? Not everyone ends up needing it, but there are cases where the relationship’s success will depend on it.
10. How have passed relationships encouraged you to change?
We’ve all had shaky past relationships, and no matter how bad they were, there are things we could have done differently. Asking this question will help you to gain insight into your partner’s awareness of their need to change and adjust.