As Mother’s Day passes some of us have been working hard to show our Mother’s thanks but not all of us have been. Sure, you might have a good relationship with your Mother but not everyone does. 

Some people have toxic Mothers that they’ve cut ties with long ago and honestly, those people deserve a little recognition now that this holiday has passed. Sure, they did something not everyone is capable of, but they also did it for their own good. They might not have wanted to do it, but they, in the end, knew it was their best option. 

Whether you cut your Mother off because she was an addict that refused to get help, too controlling, narcissistic, or any other possible reason don’t let this holiday season get you down. You are strong and you are powerful. You somehow managed to find the courage to hold your own and there is nothing wrong with doing what you did. 

Some people might ask you how you could ever cut someone off who ‘brought you into this world’ but it’s none of their business. The things you’ve gone through matter and your future is important. You chose to live your life and there is nothing wrong with that. If your Mother was absent most of the time or you had to grow up taking care of her instead of her taking care of you, I am sorry. I know the world judges you for turning your back on her but don’t let their words get to you. 

If she truly wanted to be a part of your life she would have been there for you in the ways you needed her to be. She would have changed her ways because you were worth it. When you needed her the most she was nowhere to be found and that sticks with you even now. Mother’s day doesn’t have to be spent with your actual Mother. Spend it with someone who has helped you grow in ways your real Mother would have never been capable of. 

Whether you were able to find some kind of middle ground with your actual Mother or not doesn’t really matter. She is the reason for the things she’s going through now and you shouldn’t let her guilt you into pretending to feel something for her you don’t. You are strong and you’re capable in ways you might have never expected. You deserve a pat on the back during times like these because even though it still hurts sometimes, you’ve done the right thing. 

Your Mother has had an influence on you and shaped you in ways that you might not even notice now but you’re stronger because of the things you’ve gone through. Mother’s day is just another day to you and you shouldn’t feel bad about that. You might spend this time wishing that your Mother had done better and was more capable for your sake, you can’t change things. You can only grow from them and work to reclaim this holiday for yourself. 

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https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-the-lines/201712/how-people-pull-themselves-away-toxic-families

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships/201802/daughters-narcissistic-mothers

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships/202003/sons-narcissistic-mothers

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-empaths-survival-guide/201707/how-cut-unhealthy-bond-someone

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