Sure, we’re often told that there is nothing wrong with cutting toxic people out of our lives, even if they’re family but that doesn’t make it easy. Cutting people out is hard and it’s even harder when they’ve been in your life since you were born.
When we end up having to cut someone out of our lives who has been there for a long time, it takes a toll on us. Sure, we’re better off in the long-run but it won’t feel that way right off the bet. We will feel guilty, and we will wonder if we made the right decision.
Yes, being away from this person or those people depending on the situation might make you feel a bit of relief after a little time has passed but that doesn’t mean you’re not going to wonder at all. You’re going to feel like you’ve done something very wrong, even if you haven’t. Setting boundaries with family members who are used to walking all over them can be extremely complicated and only you can decide if cutting ties completely is what is right for you.
You may feel guilty because you’re used to caring for this person or you may feel like they need you or like you need them. The more they’ve put you through and perhaps abused you, the harder cutting them out could end up being. That being said, moving on is always a better option than sitting by and letting someone walk all over you.
If that person truly wanted to be in your life they would have stopped lying, blaming, manipulating, starting problems, invalidating you, and/or all of the other things they were doing when you allowed them to be present in your life. They knew what they were doing, whether they will admit it or not, and moving on with your life is your best bet. You cannot force them to change but you can change how they affect you moving forward.
People who want to change, change for themselves not for others. They might not even see the wrong in their actions and in cases like that, you’re only wasting your time by allowing them to remain in your life. You’re going to feel a lot as you move through trying to completely sever the ties you had with them but you will grow stronger through it all.
It’s okay to feel bad about it and it’s okay to miss that person even though they hurt you a lot. We are only human and at the end of the day, we often care deeply for those who do nothing but wrong to us. You have to make the right choices for yourself in your life, no one else can do that for you.