Surviving the loss of a child is a difficult road, that takes a truly strong person to overcome. When it first happens, you go through all the stages at once; intense sadness, anger, crying, silently scolding god for letting this happen to you.

Why? Why did this happen to me? What did I do to deserve this? And the truth? Nothing. You did absolutely nothing wrong. Sometimes things just happen, but this thought will never bring you comfort because you will forever blame yourself for the events that have unfolded.

Life will no longer hold the same meaning that it used to, and for most, you will find that you are faking your way through life hoping that one day things will become just a little bit easier. And sometimes, just for a moment, you will be okay. Then you will remember and the whole process will start over again.

You will feel that lump in the back of your throat consistently. That constant reminder that things are never going to be the same. You will cry when you are safe and alone, not wanting others to see because you don’t want to be the subject of pity.

You will question your own mortality, never truly being that close to death before it will hit you like a ton of bricks. You will wonder if you belong here, or if you should just disappear into the abyss. But, if you are anything like me, you will stay here because you don’t want your loved ones to suffer the way that you are suffering.

This process will go on for months even years for some, never truly going away. And while I am still going through it myself, struggling more and more everyday I know that hopefully, one day, things will start to get better. That is the thought that will keep you going. That is the thought that will make you choose to stay here another day.

One day you will learn new ways to cope, ways to make yourself feel better. You will find daily things that will help you feel again, things other than intense sadness that is. One day things will start to matter to you again. The daily events that you struggle to get through will start to get easier and easier. Or perhaps, you are like me and you do so much during the day so that you don’t have the chance to feel it.

Surviving the loss of a child is not easy, it is hard or crippling even. But you can do it! You can do it for your loved ones, you can do it for your children, but you have to ultimately do it for yourself.

I’m telling this to myself too, because I desperately need to hear it and perhaps you do too. If you know someone who has lost a child or who is struggling with the loss of a child, please, let them know that they are not alone.

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