When it comes to co-parenting or perhaps realizing that you’ve created a child with someone who is a full-blown narcissist protecting your offspring isn’t as easy as most would expect. If you’re dealing with this kind of thing you know how complicated the whole situation can be.

Now, to begin with, understanding the trauma that can come with having a narcissistic parent is important. Your child is at risk of lasting emotional damage and supporting that child properly in all the ways your significant other/their mother or father is not can be in this sense crucial. For instance, if the narcissistic parent refuses to connect with them on an emotional level, you need to be sure that you do as much. This so that the child can come to you when he/she needs to rather than having no one to turn to for an emotional outlet as a whole.

Now that you’ve covered that area you should not blame yourself for the things this narcissistic person is putting on the child as a whole. You didn’t know what you were getting into and while you did realize it a bit late, you can still work to do something about it. If the abuse or neglect your child is facing is severe do try for full custody if it is needed. That being said, in many cases co-parenting on some levels with these kinds of people is something we are forced to do, and so we must work to do all we can properly.

Do not dismiss your child’s feelings like the narcissistic parent does. Rather than closing yourself off and being distant, be there for your child in the ways you know you need to be. Let them know that their feelings are valid and make sure they are aware that while their mother or father is not hearing them out you are. Make sure that they too are aware that the way their narcissistic parent treats the is not their fault in any way. 

From here things will get a bit tricky as you need to play nice with the narcissist. Don’t allow them to use your child against you or demonize them to your child especially if the child is young. The older your child becomes the easier it will be to sit down and talk this kind of thing through with them so that they are more aware of the given situation.

When it comes to co-parenting with a narcissist you need to make sure you’re not overreacting to the things this narcissist does. He or she might specifically try to make you angry and you need to be sure you’re not giving in to that anger even if you do feel it. They will do their best to get reactions out of you and you need to prove to them that they will not be capable of gaining the reactions they want.

Make sure things are done to a tee when it comes to whatever has been ordered by the court as withholding will only make things worse on all of you. While in your custody make sure your child has limited contact with that narcissistic parent and make the most of the time you have together. Also, make sure that you’re feeding into your child’s individuality while he or she is in your care as well. Let him or her be free to express his or herself freely within reason. This being something the narcissistic parent doesn’t allow.

If you do all of these things your child will turn out just fine in the end. While it will require a bit of extra effort on your part these things are necessary and will make you feel a lot better overall. For more information on this topic please check out the video below.

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-is-2020/201405/narcissistic-parents-psychological-effect-their-children

https://www.psychalive.org/the-dangers-of-narcissistic-parents/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-intelligent-divorce/201311/the-narcissistic-mother

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