Every parent hopes their child will grow up wanting to maintain a close, loving relationship with them. But strong bonds don’t happen by chance—they’re nurtured through small, everyday interactions that make children feel safe, heard, and valued.
As a conscious parenting researcher and coach, I’ve studied over 200 families and found that the way you respond to your child from infancy shapes the strength of your relationship in adulthood.
If you want your kids to always trust, respect, and enjoy being around you—no matter how old they are—start incorporating these seven habits early on.
1. Validate Their Feelings
Children need to feel safe expressing their emotions. When they hear phrases like “You’re fine” or “It’s not a big deal,” they may start believing their feelings don’t matter and eventually stop sharing them.
Instead of dismissing their emotions, acknowledge them. Simple responses like “That sounds frustrating” or “I see you’re upset” can help them feel heard and understood. Emotional security isn’t about fixing every problem—it’s about ensuring your child knows they matter.
2. Prioritize Connection Over Control
Parenting through fear, punishment, or excessive correction creates emotional distance. Children raised this way often learn to hide parts of themselves to avoid disappointing their parents.
Instead of demanding obedience, focus on building trust. Small moments—laughing together, listening without judgment, and showing empathy—help children feel safe. When kids feel emotionally secure, they’re more likely to seek your support even as they grow into adulthood.
3. Encourage Their Independence
When parents make all the decisions, children may start to think: My opinions don’t matter, so why should I even try?
Rather than dictating everything, involve them in age-appropriate choices. Ask questions like “What do you think?” or “What feels right to you?” Let them decide what to wear, which hobbies to pursue, or what meal they’d like to eat. Giving them a say in their own life fosters confidence and decision-making skills.
4. Own Your Mistakes
Parents often expect respect from their children, yet don’t always model it themselves.
Apologizing when you’ve made a mistake teaches kids that respect is mutual. Saying, “I overreacted earlier, and I’m sorry,” reinforces that relationships are built on understanding, not power.
Children who grow up in homes where accountability is the norm don’t fear making mistakes. Instead of hiding their struggles, they trust they can come to you without shame.
5. Make Quality Time a Daily Priority
Strong relationships aren’t built in a single deep conversation—they’re formed through consistent, meaningful moments.
What matters isn’t just the amount of time you spend together, but how often your child feels prioritized. Sharing a meal, reading a bedtime story, or simply asking about their day strengthens your connection.
Children who feel valued in these small ways will naturally want to stay close to you later in life.
6. Accept Them As They Are
If a child constantly feels judged or compared to others, they may start shrinking themselves to fit in. Over time, they’ll learn to suppress their real thoughts, interests, and struggles.
Creating a safe space for self-acceptance starts with how you respond to them. Instead of pointing out what they lack, celebrate their uniqueness. Encouraging their passions—even if they don’t align with your expectations—reinforces that they are loved exactly as they are.
When kids grow up feeling accepted, they won’t have to choose between being their true selves and staying close to you.
7. Choose the Relationship Over Being Right
Disagreements are inevitable. But if you always insist on being “right” at the expense of connection, your child may learn that your love is conditional. They might comply during childhood but distance themselves later in life.
Instead of shutting them down, prioritize understanding. If your child disagrees with you, respond with curiosity: “Tell me more about why you feel that way.”
When children know they can express themselves without fear of rejection, they grow into adults who trust the relationship—rather than fear losing it.
By incorporating these habits into your parenting style, you’ll create a foundation of trust, respect, and unconditional love—ensuring that your child will always feel safe turning to you, no matter how old they are.