We as human beings make mistakes and that’s just a part of life. I will not keep moving on worrying about my past and wishing things were different.
I know that you don’t want to be with me and that things that happened, should not have happened, but I am not the same person I once was and I will not be held back by who I used to be. I have wounds sure, and I need to work through those but your opinion of me should not hold power over my life.
You hurt me badly and I hurt you too. You were not ready for a life with me and that’s fine. You were far more toxic than you would ever admit and you really broke me down for a long time but that’s okay. I know, you will never take the time to apologize for the things you’ve done but I forgive you all the while.
I do not hold the things you’ve done against you and you shouldn’t hold my absence from your life as a whole against me. We didn’t work and sticking around wasn’t right. You can’t just use people and expect them to never pick up on it. This might never reach you and you may never even realize the wrongs you’ve done but at this point, that doesn’t really matter.
I am sorry that I let you do the things to me that you did. I am sorry that it took so long for me to realize that you didn’t actually care and I’m sorry that I didn’t realize my worth sooner. I am sorry if I ever made you feel like I was going to be in your life to face your abuse forever but that’s not good for anyone.
I am sorry that I made so many excuses for you and let you do whatever you wanted while I did nothing but suffer at your hands. I now forgive you for being so shallow, for not caring, and for refusing to see the love I had to offer you.
I poured everything I had into you and in the end, you left me with nothing. You didn’t care how badly you hurt me and you still even now don’t want to make things right. You’ve likely found someone else to feed off of and you probably don’t even think of me but just know, I am better now for having gotten you out of my life.
I am no saint and I said things I shouldn’t have but things are finally getting better. I am living my truth and finding myself, again and again, more so each day. I will not fall further, becoming who I was meant to be is important to me.
I accept the apology I had to give to myself on your behalf and it’s enough for me. Closure is not something I seek these days and things are finally looking up. I don’t know how I saw you as someone who ever gave a damn about me but, I did. Realizing the truth was one of the best possible things I could ever do and from here, I have so many amazing achievements to work towards.
It is time for me to move on further and really get things rolling. I will accomplish more in this life, that you can count on. Nothing is out of my reach now.