When someone we love passes on or perhaps even if we lose a pet, we grieve. This is normal and for everyone it comes in a different form.
How I process my grief might not be how you process yours and that is perfectly fine. The most important thing to take away from this is that there is nothing wrong with not being okay especially when you’ve experienced loss in a raw form. Now, this process in and of itself is easier for some and hard on the rest you don’t get to pick how things will end up affecting you.
Now, in general, the stages of grief seem to be something like the following denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These five things are outlined well in a video on YouTube that was posted several years back by WatchWellCast. This video going over that there is no right or wrong way to deal with process the loss of a loved one and that is something I agree strongly with.
If these stages take a long time for you to get through, don’t feel bad and if you zoom through a few of them like they were nothing, don’t be ashamed. It doesn’t mean you’re dwelling too much or not enough, it means you’re doing your best and that’s all we can ask of you. Sure, we have all heard the word grief before but it’s not something you can truly understand until you’ve felt it.
Help Guide defines grief as follows:
Grief is a natural response to loss. It’s the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away. Often, the pain of loss can feel overwhelming. You may experience all kinds of difficult and unexpected emotions, from shock or anger to disbelief, guilt, and profound sadness. The pain of grief can also disrupt your physical health, making it difficult to sleep, eat, or even think straight. These are normal reactions to loss—and the more significant the loss, the more intense your grief will be.
Coping with the loss of someone or something you love is one of life’s biggest challenges. You may associate grieving with the death of a loved one—which is often the cause of the most intense type of grief.
From there Help Guide went on to also list the types of grief that have nothing to do with someone passing away. Yes, you can grieve things that have nothing to do with death as well. Many people grieve the loss of a job, loss of love, someone becoming ill, or other things of the sort. Sometimes the smallest things can set off the biggest events in our lives, and we need to be aware of that.
Now, the initial denial period we all tend to face with grief is something that needs to be touched on. This period is not one that means you do not care, it is merely a moment before you’ve allowed things to properly sink in. You’re in disbelief and well, that’s reasonable.
The stages to come after that one are brutal, and they can even flashback and forth from one another until you’re able to accept things and work to move on. I personally still feel quite angry when I think about the passing of someone from my past. While this person has been gone for a while, I am still not quite done grieving. Sure, there are moments where I feel myself beginning to accept things but I’m not quite there yet.
Dealing with the death of a loved one is not easy and it takes a lot of strength within. We all have to get through these things in our own ways and what helps me cope might not always work for you. While we didn’t dive too deeply into things within this article, I believe the video below will help you in ways I never could. If you’re not okay right now, that’s perfectly fine but just know in time things will get better.