In life, one of the biggest roles in our life is love. And the search for love in this life can be daunting for some, which can, unfortunately, cause us to become attached to the wrong people.
In some cases, we may even say the three most powerful words, even when we aren’t 100% sure we mean them. And while we may not have bad intentions by doing this, it is never going to end well for us, because if the connection isn’t there, forcing it won’t make it better. When we force a connection with someone we don’t truly love, it eventually will come back to haunt us.
“The Mindfulness Journal: Daily Practices, Writing Prompts, and Reflections for Living in the Present Moment“ by S.J. Scott and Barrie Davenport is a great resource to guide you through this process.
So, if you are not truly in love with your partner, and the following signs and your heart affirms that, then do yourself a favor, and be honest with the person that you are with and yourself.
1. The relationship feels forced.
When you are around each other, it feels like you are both forcing it. Nothing feels genuine about the connection, and you feel pressure for something to come of the relationship, even though there isn’t anything there.
2. You are only with them because you are lonely.
You are only pushing or forcing the connection because you hate the idea of being alone. You feel like you are running out of time to find someone, or because you’ve been alone for so long, you just want anyone. But this is not love.
Fostering independence and finding fulfillment outside of relationships is essential. “Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself” by Melody Beattie is a classic resource for understanding codependency and learning to prioritize your well-being.
3. You feel weird, or awkward around them, and it’s a feeling you cannot shake.
When you are around them and with them, it feels off. When you touch or kiss, or even have sex, it doesn’t feel right. And when you are talking and trying to connect, it’s really hard to get on the same level.
4. You have nothing in common, at all.
You don’t have to have everything in common to be in love, but there has to be some sort of mutual ground. Otherwise, it’s going to be hard to connect, and even harder to bond enough to fall in love.
5. You don’t know anything about them.
When friends ask you about them, you come up short on answering, because honestly, you know nothing about them. Even simple things, like where they came from, and some of their genuine interests are unknown to you.
6. You aren’t yourself around them.
When you are around them, you pretend to be someone else or omit things about yourself to bond with them. And even though you like them, you have to admit, they don’t know the real you.
“Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead” by Brené Brown encourages embracing vulnerability, which is vital in confronting your feelings and making authentic decisions about your relationships.
7. You are moving too quickly.
Because you want it to work so badly, you are trying to force the connection. You have barely known each other for any length of time, yet you want to say I love you because you want so badly to have a relationship.
8. You feel like you’re settling.
When you are together, you realize that they are nothing like what you wanted from a partner. It’s not that they aren’t a good person, they just aren’t what you are looking for. And you feel like maybe you are settling because you don’t want to be alone.
9. You feel like you could love them, one day.
You think that one day you could love them. You don’t love them now, but there’s potential.
10. You want to change them.
When you envision yourself loving this person, there are a lot of conditions. You want them to change many things about themselves before you could see yourself falling in love with them.
11. They get on your nerves more than anything.
Not only do you feel disconnected from this person, but they also drive you nuts. You don’t like hardly anything about them, and when you hang out, you really can’t wait for them to leave again. Yet when they call and ask to hang out, you say yes, in hopes that it will be different this time.
If you want over 200+ ideas, phrases, and text messages to drive your man wild with desire for you, make sure to check out my new program, Language of Desire. I give you step-by-step instructions and tons of exact words to use to get exactly what you both want in and out of the bedroom.
P.S. The reason so many men “pull away” from women is because
women don’t understand this naughty secret about men. . .
