When it comes to dating there are a lot of things that can and should throw up signs that the person you’re potentially going to be with is a bit toxic. Being able to spot those signs is crucial for your wellbeing and you should be as aware of them as possible. 

In this day and age, we tend to use a lot of different ‘romantic phrases’ but we should always check the intent behind them. Sometimes the things people say reveals a lot more than we tend to notice and that is something you should never forget. If you’ve been seeing someone for a while now, and they’re saying the following things you need to consider the situation in which they’re being said to determine if they’re something you should be wary of. 

For instance, if you’re trying to go out with friends and this person says something like ‘Wouldn’t you rather spend time with me instead?’ take the time to look at how that’s coming off. This could be taken as them trying to close you off from the people in your life who are outside the ‘relationship’ intentions matter, big time. 

While the phrases below can seem harmless they can also be quite toxic and show you someone’s true colors pretty quick if you’re paying close enough attention. What instances have you experienced with these phrases and how did those instances turn out? I for one tend to run for the hills when I hear these things.

7 ‘Romantic Phrases’ That Aren’t As Romantic As You Think – Signs Of Toxicity:

1. “I’d be nothing without you.”

This is a huge sign of serious co-dependency issues. The person saying this to you feels like he or she would not be anything without you in his or her life. They rely on you for more than they should and are as they suggest incapable of functioning apart from you. Making someone into your reason for existing in this sense is extremely toxic whether you see it right now or not. It sets you up to disappoint whether you intend to or not.

2. “You’re the only thing in my life that makes me truly happy.”

This also is a very big sign of co-dependency and makes you more aware that the person you’re with is unable to find happiness within his or herself like they should be doing. We should not be expected to complete someone else. We bring happiness from within and if you’re unable to find that for yourself you shouldn’t be trying to find it in someone else, period.

3. “I’m not good enough for you.”

This makes you feel like you’re not appreciating this person enough. While you might not have done anything to warrant them saying this they are putting you on a pedestal that they shouldn’t be putting you on. If you think too highly of someone in your life they’re bound to let you down at some point with or without meaning to.

4. “You’re perfect as you are.”

Sure, you want to be accepted as you are but you also need to be able to change as you see fit. We are human beings, and we’re always adapting and finding new parts of ourselves. If your partner is stuck on the person you were when you first met and refuses to let you grow, there is a serious issue present in your relationship.

5. “You’re so much better than my ex(es).”

We should never compare our lovers to our previous lovers. Everyone has their own struggles in this world and while you might not hurt your partner in the way someone from their past has the comparison in itself is enough to leave a sour taste in your mouth. You can’t be present at the moment if you’re always referencing back to your ex(es).

6. “If you love me you’ll _____.”

Our partners should never be trying to force us to do things we don’t want to do. If you are being faced with this kind of ultimatum you need to run for the hills. Your love should not be so conditional. Just because you say no and reinforce your boundaries doesn’t mean you lack emotion for this person in your life.

7. “I want to spend all of my time with you.”

We as human beings need time to ourselves and time apart from our lovers. There is nothing wrong with spending time with your friends or doing things on your own. If your partner is so co-dependent that he or she won’t give you peace of mind at all, you need to make some changes.

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meditation-modern-life/201609/happiness-comes-within

https://psychcentral.com/lib/symptoms-of-codependency/