When it comes to raising your kids the ‘right way’ things can be a bit confusing. While you might think you’re doing everything right, there are always going to be things you’re getting wrong.

You might think you’re taking care of your child on all levels but are you paying close attention to his or her self-esteem and confidence in general? How does your kid come across as a person? Does he or she close off and refuse to really put his or herself ‘out there?’

The more confident and content in his or her own skin your children are, the more willing they will be to get out into this world and do things. They will step out of their comfort zones, find things they like to do, and engage in proper contact with others on many different levels. That being said, far too often we make mistakes that rather than building our children up, tear them down.

Below, I am going to go over some of the more common mistakes we as parents tend to make that can and usually do have a direct impact on our kids and how they move forth in life. Their self-esteem is important and if it is lacking, working to help them build it back is a crucial thing. The higher it rises, the stronger your child will become.

9 Mistakes Could Be Destroying Your Children’s Self-Esteem:

1. Sheltering them from their own emotions.

The more we hide our kids from the things they’re feeling, the worse off they will end up. They need to be able to accept and process all of the things they are feeling, regardless of whether or not those feelings are good or bad. They cannot just bottle them up forever.

2. Catering to their every whim.

Your children are still human beings, and once they’re out in the real world, you won’t be there to cater to them. They cannot expect everyone else to do the things for them that you’ve done. If you wait on them hand and foot, they’re not going to know how to function properly once they’re on their own.

3. Rather than teaching them lessons, you just punish them.

Punishments are important sometimes, but they do not hold and power if they do not also hold a lesson. Forcing someone down all the while not teaching them why is a waste of time and just cuts them apart without reason. When they do something wrong they need to understand that it was wrong, otherwise they’re not going to change.

4. Not letting them make their own mistakes.

We all make mistakes, and you cannot shelter your kids from making their own. They need to make mistakes and figure out how to deal with those mistakes. You live, and you learn, that’s just how life is.

5. Allowing them to play the victim.

In this world, we are not victims unless we allow ourselves to be. If you put your child into that victim mentality and allow them to keep it they will blame everyone and everything for their own issues. Sure, people can be cruel, but playing the victim isn’t helping anyone.

6. Expecting them to be perfect.

Perfection does not exist, and so we should never expect it from those in our lives. Our children are going to make mistakes and live their own lives. We shouldn’t make them feel bad for being themselves.

7. Not holding them accountable for their actions.

Our actions are our own and no one else’s, if we mess up then we are the ones who need to be accountable for that. You cannot take the blows for all your offspring do until the end of time. At some point, they are going to have to become responsible adults.

8. Refusing to spend enough time with them.

Your kids need to spend time with you, they need to learn from you and grow up with you by their side. You cannot close yourself off and expect them to still turn out fine. It just doesn’t work like that.

9. Not allowing them to open up to you.

Your kids need to be able to come to you for guidance. If they cannot speak with you, who will they speak with? As their mother or father, you need to be there for them in all possible ways.