For some reason, people tend to get all kinds of caught up with other people. They think being in a relationship will fix them but, it won’t.

While you might think you have it all figured out, when it comes to relationships we tend to make a lot of mistakes without even realizing it. Some of the smallest mistakes make the biggest differences in the long-run. If you want your relationship to work you have to be on the same page as your partner. Everyone needs to have their needs met and no one needs to be falling behind.

Below I am going to go over some of the common mistakes we make. Relax and think things through before you do something you will regret. These mistakes are much more common than you might think.

The 11 Most Common Relationship Mistakes We Tend To Make:

1. Complaining about your partner to people outside of the relationship.

Complaining about your partner to someone other than your partner doesn’t do any good. Sure, there is nothing wrong with asking for advice within reason, but don’t go out of your way to make him or her look bad. This will only cause more problems! For “Complaining about your partner to people outside of the relationship,” consider “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” by John M. Gottman and Nan Silver.

2. Questioning your relationship all the time.

Sure, you should question things when it is necessary, but if you act like you don’t want to be with him or her in the first place they will feel like they’re falling away from you. Things aren’t going to work out if you aren’t going to be getting along in this manner. Questioning your partner and your relationship makes them feel unwanted in many ways.

3. Taking your significant other for granted.

You should never take anyone for granted. Your partner is supposed to be your other half. You need to appreciate one another no matter what.

4. Ignoring your partner on purpose.

Ignoring your partner is going to cause more problems. You need to get along with one another even when you’re fighting. Giving each other the silent treatment only makes the issues worse.

5. Giving up on one another too quickly.

If you are going to be together, work hard to stay together. Don’t give up over something that doesn’t matter. Make sure that you are both getting taken care of and being emotionally treated. Most issues can be worked through. “Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic“ by Esther Perel offers a fresh perspective on long-term intimacy and commitment, encouraging couples to work through challenges while maintaining their passion and connection.

6. Trying to control our partner.

You shouldn’t be trying to control your partner. Your partner is his or her own person, and you cannot force them to do what you want them to do.

7. Being passive aggressive without explanation.

Being passive aggressive doesn’t get you anywhere. Don’t waste your time pulling petty tricks or being rude in this way. Just speak your mind and talk about what needs to be talked about.

8. Refusing to take your partner serious.

Your partner is supposed to be your other half; you need to take one another seriously. You both need to be able to build and grow together.

9. Crossing boundaries without realizing it.

You and your partner still need proper boundaries set. Don’t cross your partner’s boundaries. You need to have a mutual sense of respect. “The Relationship Skills Workbook: A Do-It-Yourself Guide to a Thriving Relationship“ by Julia B. Colwell, PhD, provides exercises and insights to deepen mutual respect and understanding, ensuring both partners feel valued and heard.

10. Letting negative emotions get the best of you.

Sure, we all have our down in the dumps moments, but your partner is someone you need to be optimistic with. You need to build him or her up not tear them down. As a couple, you need to be there for each other.

11. Trying to change the other person.

Do not try to change your partner; your partner is his or her own person. Don’t force them into things that they don’t want to do. If you get into a relationship with someone for the wrong reasons problems will occur.

(Photo by Chau Luong on Unsplash)