Being a parent isn’t an easy job. There are so many things that can go wrong- and none of us are perfect.
Of course, for the most part-our mistakes are not only inevitable, but most of them are slight. However, some common mistakes can cause great harm to your children, without you ever meaning to. Some of these are pretty common as well, and many of them, you would never even think about. The thing is- as long as you are open to the fact that you can make mistakes and as long as you continue to change and do better-you can always course correct and keep moving forward along the way to raising happy and healthy kids.
1. Praising everything they do.
It might seem like a good idea to praise your child constantly, but when you do, you are only setting them up to expect to be praised for existing. Instead of praising them all the time, praise them for their efforts and their accomplishments.
2. Giving them everything they want.
When your child is throwing a tantrum in the store for a new toy, it might be tempting to just give in. However, if you do this regularly, you are only harming your child- because you are teaching them they are entitled to get what they want, even if it isn’t what they need or deserve.
3. Not establishing boundaries.
This works both ways. Kids need to have boundaries with their parents, and their parents need to have boundaries with them. This means not sharing adult problems with your kids, who are unable to process them. It also means that you allow your child to set reasonable boundaries with you and respect them.
4. Not modeling the behavior you want to see.
You can preach all day about how you want your child to act- but if you are acting the opposite, they are going to do as they see, not as you say. The thing is- even if your child didn’t want to be anything like you-they are unintentionally picking up habits and behaviors from you all the time.
5. Being inconsistent.
The world is so chaotic to a kid. They don’t have much power over their lives- and because of that, they thrive when they know what to expect. When they understand what to expect, it provides them with a sense of control, which can mean everything to them.
6. Solving everything for them.
You might be tempted to jump in and do everything for your child. But, when you do so, you are robbing them of precious learning moments that they need to grow.
7. Being too critical.
When you are too critical of your child, even if it’s well-intentioned, the message they hear is that they are not enough. This will weigh on their psyche and destroy their self-esteem.