As parents, we are responsible for setting our children up for success in life. And while that may sound like a major burden to bear, the good news is, that we don’t have to exhaust ourselves (any more than we already are) to help our kids reap the rewards.
One of the most important values we can instill in our children is the value of hard work. Instilling this value in our children benefits them ten-fold, because not only will it help them in their careers, but it will also help them thrive in the various other aspects of their lives. If you are trying to set your child up for all-around success, then make sure you do these 7 things.
1. Give them chores.
A lot of people grow up with a massive load of chores and think, “I will never do that to my kids. I will go easy on them.” While this mindset comes from an innocent place, I implore you to reconsider if this is you. While I am NOT advocating that you use your kids as child labor, giving them a shortlist of responsibilities not only gives them purpose but teaches them discipline. “The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind” by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson. This book offers insightful strategies for fostering emotional intelligence and resilience in children, helping them to tackle chores and responsibilities with a positive mindset.
2. Model responsibility.
You have to model the behavior you want to see in your kids. If you want your child to be a hard worker, then it’s massively counterproductive to constantly complain about having to work. This might ruffle some feathers, but I am telling you, you have to practice what you preach.
3. Keep a routine.
Everyone thrives in a routine. If you believe otherwise, then you have likely never stuck to one. There again, not trying to ruffle any feathers. But, life is chaotic enough. While you cannot control every little thing, if you have a routine, it’s much easier to handle the unexpected because you have a sturdy foundation to work from. “How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success” by Julie Lythcott-Haims. This book provides a compelling argument for stepping back and allowing children to experience failure and struggle, emphasizing the importance of coaching over direct intervention.
4. Encourage them to pursue their dreams.
No matter what it is, if you notice your child is good at something, push them in that direction. To you, a career in art or music may sound silly or even unreachable. But, when you push them to be the best they can be, even if they don’t end up being a concert pianist, you have laid the groundwork and principles for them to apply to whatever it is they end up being.
5. Let them fail.
As parents, it can be hard to watch your child struggling with something, without intervening. But, if you step in every time you see them struggling, they will never learn how to overcome struggles on their own.
6. Coach them, don’t take over.
Instead of taking over and doing things for them, coach them through. Don’t say “because I told you so!” or “No, just let me do it.” When you do, you rob them of a valuable opportunity to learn. “The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed” by Jessica Lahey. Lahey’s book is a deep dive into the critical importance of letting children fail to help them learn persistence, resilience, and the true value of hard work.
7. Praise for effort, not talent.
Rather than praising your child for being gifted, special, or talented, or saying “Good job!” be specific. Praise them for the good job they did on their math test, or for working and studying extra hard to pass chemistry. It might sound like a little thing, but experts say it makes a big difference.