During our life, one of the most powerful driving factors we will experience is love. And while it can be daunting to find love, once you find it, you are challenged with keeping it alive and well.
In relationships, the beginning is very intense. You are both excited to get to know each other and the passion is intense. Without very much effort, there is a spark. Over time, as you get to know one another, and get comfortable, the spark will begin to dwindle at times. And while this is expected at times, it is important to keep reigniting that spark. Not only will it make your relationship happier and more healthy, but it will also make you both very happy on an individual level.
With that being said, how do you keep a relationship alive? Here are 14 ways.
1. Never stop being curious about your partner.
After a while, you may assume you know everything about your partner. However, people are not stagnant and unchanging creatures. On the contrary, your partner’s needs, feelings, and circumstances will change each day, much like your own. “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. This book is a great resource to understand and apply the concept of love languages, aiding in more effective communication and connection with your partner.
2. Remain fully present.
When you are around your partner, give them your full attention. Don’t talk to them while playing on your phone, place the phone down, and give them your undivided attention. Listen to them actively, and have meaningful conversations with them regularly.
3. Communicate clearly & often.
Make it a point to communicate with your partner. Even if you only have a small amount of time together each day, make the most of it. “The Art of Communicating” by Thich Nhat Hanh. This book offers insightful guidance on mindful listening and speaking, which can significantly improve the quality of presence and attention you give to your partner.
4. Focus less on your partner’s flaws & more on supporting them and complimenting what is good about them.
Rather than focusing on your partner’s flaws and trying to change them, embrace them for who they are, and encourage them to grow into the best version of themselves. When you focus on their positive attributes and encourage them to grow, you will be met with less resistance, and it will help you to bond with your partner.
5. Embark on exciting adventures together.
A research study had couples broken up into two sets: one who did exciting activities together and one that focused on pleasant activities. Those who went on an exciting adventure ended up having higher relationship satisfaction overall when compared to those who did a pleasant activity.
6. Learn your partner’s love language.
Each of us loves differently, and it’s important to meet your partner where they are at. For example, some people love by nurturing and performing acts of kindness for their partner. Others show love by talking things out and being attentive. And some people are more withdrawn, but passionate when they speak up.
7. Check in on your partner.
Take time to check on your partner on an emotional level. From time to time, ask them how they feel, if anything is bothering them, how things could be better, and what you can do to support them. Not only will it help you to maintain an understanding of their headspace, but it will also show them that you care and want to do whatever it takes to keep the relationship afloat.
8. Plan for weekly dates.
Each week, plan a date night. Even if that date night is just the two of you ordering a pizza and watching a movie, it sets a routine for the two of you to touch down and unwind as a team.
9. Align on finances.
While it may not sound sexy, it’s important to be on the same page as your partner when it comes to financing. Financial troubles are one of the leading causes of divorce, so ensuring that you are both transparent and on the same page helps to keep things moving in a good direction.
10. Make physical intimacy a priority.
Physical intimacy is important. It may not be the most important aspect of love, but it’s extremely important. Even if you just take a moment to look each other in the eyes and kiss, you are maintaining the intimacy and passion that was present in the relationship when it began. “The Power of Vulnerability” by Brené Brown. This book can help both partners understand the importance of vulnerability in creating deep, meaningful connections and how to respect and protect each other’s vulnerabilities.
11. Respect each other’s vulnerability.
When your partner is vulnerable with you, be respectful. Don’t use their vulnerabilities later on to shame them, and don’t share them with anyone else outside of the relationship. You are their safe place, and they are yours – don’t ever go outside of that trust.
12. Respect each other’s beliefs.
It’s important to have shared values, but no two people are always going to see eye to eye on everything. And just because you don’t believe the same as them, doesn’t mean you should be disrespectful towards their beliefs.
13. Be adaptable.
Perhaps one of the most important tips is to be adaptable. Relationships consist of two people, and people change, grow, and evolve. So do our situations. We have to be able to grow and change and adapt with them, and continue to work diligently each day to keep a relationship alive. It’s work, but it’s worth it!
14. Work as a team.
Don’t ever stop working as a team. As long as you view your partner as your teammate, and they view you the same, you will always be able to work on things together. The second you turn against each other and go to war, is the second you are moving into dangerous territory.
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P.S. The reason so many men “pull away” from women is because
women don’t understand this naughty secret about men. . .
