Oftentimes we become so comfortable in our relationships, that we say things without thinking. However, those words can end up being reverberating memories that travel through their mind and similar to a bomb- it will leave irreparable damage.
And while you may think that you would know them when you say them, sometimes the slightest thing can trigger something within them that will mess their mind up, leaving them unable to ever look at you the same.
‘Get Over It’
When someone is going through something serious, saying ‘just get over it,’ is the equivalent of invalidating their feelings.
Constantly saying ‘never’ or ‘always’ can truly damage your dialogue.
When you accuse your partner of never or always doing something- you basically make them feel worthless. According to you, they are never (hint-hint) good enough for then.
Just shut up.
Your partner has the right to express their opinion, and there is never a need to speak harshly to your partner concerning opinions or words.
Why are you such an idiot?
Name calling is harmful and rude. During the heat of the moment, it may seem like the thing to do, but you can never take those words back and remember that.
You must not care about me.
According to licensed clinical psychotherapist Erin Wiley, “Any language that is accusatory in nature is best avoided,” continuing, she explains, “I counsel couples to speak about their feelings in a non-threatening way, by focusing solely on their own experience in a conflict, not on their partner’s behavior.” For example: “Instead of saying, ‘It makes me so angry when you leave laundry in the washer for days because it’s obvious you don’t care about me,’ you could say, ‘I feel so angry when I try starting a load of laundry and can’t do it because there are still clothes in the washer. It feels like more work for me, and that’s overwhelming.’
You are crazy.
Telling your partner they are crazy, or that they are too sensitive is actually a form of mental torture that completely turn someone’s mind upside down.,
Just stop talking about it.
While fighting can be stressful, you need to find a resolution. By telling them to drop it, you insinuate that your relationship doesn’t matter.
I should probably just leave.
Don’t ever threaten a breakup unless you have the gumption to follow through with it, trust me. They will never forget about it.
You aren’t attractive to me anymore.
In your own heart, you know that saying those words can cause harm that will never go away. I would bet my last dollar that many relationships end in divorce because of those words.