When it comes to relationships, the line between standing by your boundaries, or staying loyal to your partner can become blurred. On one hand, you may say “Well, I love them unconditionally, so I should just accept this, right?”
But, the fact of the matter is, just because you love someone doesn’t mean you should tolerate disrespect. Now, I am not saying to run away from the people you love any time they make a mistake. If you do that, you are going to end up all alone, not to mention the fact that no one is perfect. However, there are some completely hard and solid lines between mistakes and flat-out inexcusable abuse.
If you are wondering where to draw the line, here are 9 behaviors that you should never accept in a relationship.
1. Physical abuse.
There is NEVER an excuse for someone to put hands on you, no matter what their reasons are, what their gender is, etc., no one has the right to touch you. And believe me, when I say – most abusers are not going to beat you up and then accept responsibility for it. For the most part, they will believe they have the right to do it, they will rationalize it to themselves and then, they will excuse it, only to repeat it again and again.
2. Well, any type of abuse (emotional, psychological, etc.)
While physical abuse is inexcusable, so is any other form of abuse. This includes verbal, emotional, psychological, and sexual. No one has the right to ever abuse you.
3. Serial cheating.
It’s possible to cheat and for it to be a mistake, and sometimes people move forward. Ultimately, that is between you and your partner. But, a wise man once said, if someone shows you who they are, believe them. More than once (serial cheating) is a tell-tell sign that this person IS a cheater and will always be a cheater.
4. Controlling behaviors.
Control does not equal love. To be frank, it’s the opposite. Loving someone is understanding that they are an autonomous individual. It’s accepting them for who they are. If you feel like you have to control someone to love them, then you are not in love. And if you are dating someone who tries to control your every move, that is not love.
5. Obsessive behaviors.
Much like control, obsessive behaviors are not healthy. You should be able to leave your partner alone, without them sending you 10 million texts, only to get angry because you didn’t answer the first one they sent five seconds after you walked out of the house, within 45 seconds. That type of relationship is toxic. Run.
6. You feel tense around your partner.
You should feel happy and carefree around your partner, not tense. You should feel uplifted around them, not anxious. If you feel worse around your partner than you do when you are out of their reach, they aren’t for you.
7. Disrespect of boundaries.
Boundaries are so important. Without them, there is no line in the sand between what you are willing to give and what you can take, and without those lines, things can get confusing real fast.
8. Refusal to accept responsibility.
There are two types of people in this world: those who make mistakes, own up to them, and move forward, and those who make mistakes, refuse to accept them and continue to make the same bad decisions over and over again. Navigating through a relationship in a positive manner is impossible with someone who doesn’t accept responsibility for their actions.
9. Refusal to commit.
Being in a connection that has potential (true potential) is one thing, but being stuck in an almost relationship is another. If you are holding out on your partner to say they are ready to be in a relationship or that they even plan to be in one with you one day, and they keep skirting around the issue, this can be a major problem.