Happiness is different for every one of us, but for the most part, it’s commonly accepted that a happy life is one in which we feel content and at ease. And while it can be said that all of us wish to be happy, it can also be said that our habits often hold us back from that goal.
In the course of our life, we will be presented with many choices, many opportunities, and many roads we can go down. It could be said that the difference between a happy life and an unhappy life can be found in our daily habits. While you cannot be guaranteed a perfect life, by no means, you can most definitely have a higher quality of life by making better choices and partaking in better habits.
With that said, it begs the question, what are habits (bad habits) that hinder us from the goal of happiness? Well, I am glad you asked. Here are 7 you should stop immediately to find a happier life.
1. Playing the victim.
During life, there is no doubt about it, there will be moments in which we are a victim of someone else’s actions. However, when these things happen to us, we have two options: we can cling to victimhood, or we can become a survivor. If we choose to cling to a victim mentality, we will ultimately end up personifying that role, giving away our power, and losing grip over the choices we do have in life.
When you decide to remain a victim, you will never find freedom from that pain, and you will remain unhappy.
2. Refusing to tame your inner critic.
Within each of us is a little voice that works as an inner critic. Sometimes, this voice benefits us, pushing us to become better versions of ourselves. However, if left unchecked, your inner critic can lose touch with reality and can become our enemy.
3. Perfectionism.
Perfection is not possible. It’s okay to have higher expectations for yourself or to want a better life. But, if you are striving for perfection, you will always be left wanting more because you will never be able to reach perfection.
4. People pleasing.
If you are living your life to please others, you will lose twice: first, you cannot please everyone and second, you will never align with your own needs. Additionally, you will lose sight of yourself, and become a blithering mess, constantly seeking reassurance and validation. This is not the pathway to happiness.
5. Being afraid of change.
Change is uncomfortable, I will hand you that. But, change is necessary. We can either retreat in comfort to a situation that we are accustomed to (one that is no longer working to bring us joy and fulfillment) or we can reach just outside what is comfortable, and grow into a better version of ourselves.
6. Overthinking.
Overthinking is most definitely a thief of joy. It’s the opposite of mindfulness, and if you get caught up in a cycle of getting stuck in your thoughts, you will end up disassociating many of the better parts of your life. Life is about the journey, not the destination.
7. Numbing.
Another, perhaps one of the biggest thieves of joy, is numbing. Numbing is often tied to addictions and takes us away from our true happiness. In the course of our lives, we will have bad moments and traumas and things that will happen that will be hard to deal with. The emotions will be so intense, that our first thought will be to push those difficult feelings down. We will want to numb ourselves and make those feelings go away. However, the way out of difficulty is through. It’s not running from the difficulty, no matter how (understandably) we want to.
In the end, when we move through our difficult emotions, eventually we overcome them and come out much stronger. When we run from them and numb them, eventually they emerge and come out, whether we want them to or not. And oftentimes in the worst types of ways.