There has always been a stereotype about women that insinuates that men enjoy sex more than women, or that men are more sexual than women. While that may not always be true, across the board, statistics do seem to lean in favor of the fact that women experience less enjoyable sex than men. So why is that?
One Australian study found that while 95% of men orgasm during sex, a disheartening 69% of women do. Additionally, women tend to have a lower sexual desire and are less open to casual sex than men. With that said, what is it that separates women from men? Here is the reason why women do not enjoy sex as much as men.
1. Women want love.
When it comes to sex, women need to feel loved. As soon as we have sex with a partner, our bodies release the love hormone, oxytocin. This immediately ties our psyche to the belief that sex is love and the two become intermixed. This is perfectly fine, but it can also make things tricky if she is having sex with someone who is far more casual.
For readers interested in understanding the emotional aspects of sex and relationships, “Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence” by Esther Perel provides insightful perspectives on maintaining desire and deepening emotional bonds in long-term relationships.
2. She needs more time.
Men, can, plow right into things and have amazing gratification. For a woman, though, we need more time to build up. We need foreplay, we need to feel the climax build. While a man can get off rather quickly, it isn’t so easy for women.
To guide couples in enhancing their sexual experience, “She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman” by Ian Kerner offers practical advice on female arousal and the significance of foreplay.
3. She gets distracted.
Having a distracted mind can make sex hard to enjoy. If you are thinking about the next day, something that is bothering you, or the to-do list that is a mile long- it can make paying attention to sex extremely hard.
4. She is exhausted.
Being asleep can drastically decrease sexual pleasure and attentiveness. In modern times, women have much on their backs. They have childcare, chores, work, meals and so much more to juggle. When it comes time for sex, many women are too tired.
5. She judges herself too much.
Having a hit on your self-esteem can make it difficult to perk up to sex. As women, we have a high bar to reach. We are told that we should look this way or that way, women on social media look perfect (even though they are not) and it can take away from how we view ourselves.
For women seeking to boost their self-esteem and body confidence, “Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life” by Emily Nagoski explores the science of female sexuality and offers strategies for embracing one’s body and sexuality.
6. She needs more.
Men often can just put it in and wham, bam, they are off. Women need more than that. We need sensual touch. Foreplay, kisses, and someone to help us build a climax. A climax typically does not just happen.
7. She needs intimacy.
To feel sexual and comfortable, women need intimacy. Not just during sex, but in the times in between. We need a bond with our partner that continues to be maintained. If that bond is in a bad place, it can make it hard to arise to the occasion (so to speak.)
To help couples deepen their intimacy and improve their sexual relationship, “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts” by Gary Chapman can be a transformative resource, helping couples understand and fulfill each other’s emotional needs.
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