Narcissistic injustice will leave you permanently damaged, emotionally, and sometimes, even physically. And while it may seem like misconduct would be something you’d easily detect,misconduct can be covert, making it difficult to see.
In a relationship with a narcissist, you may feel crazy, as though you have lost your sense of self. They will quickly bounce from treating you like a king/queen, to completely degrading everything about you.
They will work to devalue you and push you off of the same pedestal they put you on. And if you finally do realize their misconduct and call them out for it, they will question your sanity.
So what are the signs of misconduct?
1. You are constantly walking on eggshells.
You don’t ever know they will react, and you never know how their mood will affect their demeanor today.
2. You feel confused about your sanity- and this is the first time in your life that you have felt that way.
Narcissists will gaslight their victims, leaving them feeling confused about their own sanity. Sometimes, they may even accuse you of being the person to commit the misconduct.
3. You write down what you say, so your words can’t be twisted later, in a different fight.
With narcs, you may find your words being twisted and thrown in your face, oftentimes, they will make the argument go in their favor. Other times, they may deny you had the talk at all. In turn, you may be writing things down for clarity which is a huge sign of misconduct.
4. You are constantly depressed.
If your partner is constantly devaluing you, it may cause you to feel less than worthy of love. In turn, you may begin to cycle through self-loathing, and feelings of worthlessness, thus becoming depressed.
5. You apologize for everything.
Even when you know you are right, you find yourself reflexively saying sorry for every little thing that may upset them.
6. You are constantly afraid to say the wrong thing.
You are forever terrified that you may say the wrong thing and cause them to lash out at you. In turn, you are watching each word that leaves your mouth.
7. Your partner tries to make you jealous.
They bring people into the relationship and into their lives to purposely make you jealous. This is their way of making you feel like you need them.
8. Nothing is ever good enough for them.
They will never appreciate anything you do for them. You could go above and beyond and it still isn’t good enough.
9. And when you begin to think it’s time to leave them, they will try to reel you back in.
Usually, around the time you reach your breaking point, they will make you feel like the greatest person in the world, and like they are truly your soulmate. This is how they leave you feeling mentally insane, and somewhat lost when they begin the misconduct again.
10. One minute, they say you are the greatest person in the world, and in the next, you are the world’s worst.
It becomes hard to decipher who you are when you are with a narcissist because in one moment they make you feel like you are their world. In the next, their smile goes grim, and they will treat you like dirt.
11. They seem charming to most people, but not to you- not when their real self comes out.
They may appear charming on the outside, but if people look closely enough they will; see how your partner regard you, versus everyone else.
12. They are constantly ignoring you.
Periodically, your partner will ignore you, leaving you feeling neglected, ignored and even invisible. This is because they are intentionally trying to make you feel dependent on them.
13. If you say anything about their misconduct, they become enraged.
If you say anything about how they treat you, prepare for the worst. Because they are going to lash out with everything they have and will attack every aspect of your being.
14. They never celebrate your success.
Acknowledging your success would mean that you are actually worthy of their love, and they won’t acknowledge that, because it would give you power.
15. They try to keep you away from your family.
In order to leave you isolated, and in need of them, your partner is constantly trying to drive you away from the ones you love.
Image via Dawn