Dealing with a narcissist is one of the most difficult endeavors, and this can be said ten-fold when that narcissist is your parent. Narcissistic parents perceive their own child’s independence as a threat, and their toxic methods of control can make life quite difficult.

In a narcissistic parent-child relationship, the parent views their child as an extension of themselves. They take pride in their child’s achievements – and can be extremely irrational towards any slight imperfection. Because a narcissist is primarily focused on themselves and their own needs, their child’s will likely fall to the wayside.

A narcissistic parent can be damaging, regardless of their intentions. And if you believe your parent to be a narcissist, you may want to check out the following signs.

1. They are conversation hogs.

Narcissists are classic conversation hogs, which can be frustrating for anyone who is trying to talk about anything other than the narcissist. They often interrupt, but in, or simply wait for their turn to talk again, paying little attention to what you have to say.

2. They live through their child.

In many cases, narcissists will stop at nothing to have their child do exactly as they say, and they may even live out failed dreams through their offspring. This makes it difficult for the child to have their own identity or life of their own.

3. They manipulate.

A narcissistic parent is just as self-centered as any other narcissist, and ultimately, they want their way. Because of this, they may lie or gaslight you as a form of manipulation to get their way. They don’t care what it takes, they want their way.

4. They guilt-trip.

A narcissistic parent will guilt their child for anything they do that displeases their parent. Even if their child hasn’t done anything wrong, the narcissist will make them feel bad about their actions, or try to.

5. They are controlling.

Narcissists don’t view the people they love as independent individuals with their wants, needs, and desires. Instead, they view them as an extension of themselves. In turn, they can be quite controlling and if they feel as though they are losing control, they will come down that much harder.

6. They are possessive to an extreme.

Narcissistic parents view anyone else in their child’s life as a threat. They may purposely try to break up their child’s relationships and friendships, or guilt-trip their child for spending time anywhere else but with their parent. They can’t stand for anyone else to be in their child’s life and view their child’s connections as competition.

7. They start drama and chaos.

One of the easiest ways to spot a toxic person, or a narcissist is to look at their life. If they live in constant chaos- there is likely more to it than just bad luck. With that being said, narcissistic parents do not allow their kids to have peace and comfort. Instead, every which way their child turns, they are likely walking into pure chaos.

8. They don’t allow or want you to make decisions on your own.

When you have a narcissistic parent, they will likely get upset with you when you make major life decisions without them. Their child’s independence isn’t something they care for, and the more independence you show, the angrier they will become.

9. They constantly criticize.

Narcissists constantly criticize everyone around them. No matter what you do, what you wear, or how you live your life- they will find something that you could have done better.

10. They are emotionally unstable.

Narcissists are emotionally unstable and erupt in anger. Without any notice, you may notice a narcissistic parent move from one intense emotion to another.

11. They use their kids for personal gain.

Narcissists have no problem using their children. They may use them to gain sympathy and get money or material items from others. Narcissists constantly look for angles or cards to play, and unfortunately, this is one of them.

12. They hold grudges.

Narcissistic parents will get upset when they don’t get their way, and in turn, they may act out irrationally or even hold a grudge against their child for long periods.

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