Love and the pursuit of love is a major overlapping theme in life. We all want to be in love, to feel loved, and to give love, but unfortunately, finding true love is not so easy.
Instead, finding love can be a daunting task- and a fruitless pursuit that can leave you questioning everything. For many, we fall for the wrong ones too fast, and without realizing it, we set ourselves up for failure. No matter how badly we may want something to work, when we fall for the wrong one or settle for the wrong one- it will inevitably fail before all is said and done.
True love doesn’t have to be forced, and if you are questioning whether the person you are with is your true love, unfortunately, likely, they aren’t. Deep down inside – if you think someone is or isn’t good for you, you are likely right, because your intuition knows.
With all of that said, if you are having doubts, here are 12 relationship behaviors that reveal untrue love.
1. You don’t feel like you are part of a team.
Relationships are composed of two individuals, this is true. But- a truly happy and healthy relationship is one that involved both people looking out for each other and the partnership. If you feel like you are two completely independent people with no shared interest in the other or the partnership as a whole, it’s likely the relationship simply isn’t meant to be.
2. You don’t feel a spark at all.
In a true love situation, there will be a spark. With that being said, love isn’t all fireworks, but the initial spark and chemistry are what fuels a connection and it’s that little flashing red light within that tells us we’ve found our match.
3. You fight all the time.
When you find that you and your partner fight about everything- without ever being able to find common ground or compromise, you are in big trouble. Especially if this is something present throughout the entire relationship and not just a rough patch. When a relationship becomes a battleground, and stays that way, with no end in sight, it’s a bad sign.
4. You don’t ever communicate.
Communication is key in a happy relationship. People who are in love naturally communicate with each other and stay open. They don’t remain guarded and cold and they don’t leave their partner in the dark.
5. You constantly misunderstand each other.
People are different, and no two people are always going to be on the same wavelength, but a love that is meant to be should have some level of unity. If you constantly find that you don’t understand your partner and vice versa, it’s likely not meant to be.
6. The relationship is one-sided.
Have you ever heard the saying, “It takes two to tango?” Well, the saying isn’t wrong. In a relationship, both efforts are needed to keep it afloat. When one partner stops putting in the effort, the relationship can only stay afloat for so long. Ultimately, a relationship fails with only one person participating.
7. You don’t share any of the same values.
Having opposite views on morals, ethics, and core values can spell disastrous for a relationship. If you and your partner never see eye to eye on situations, and neither of you can agree with the other’s point of view, the relationship isn’t true love.
8. You are at odds with each other.
A relationship is a partnership. It shouldn’t include two people who are constantly fighting against the other.
9. You don’t share the same goals.
When you envision the future, what do you see? Is it the same thing your partner sees, or anything close? If not, the relationship is standing on a shaky foundation.
10. You aren’t ever happy together.
Relationships aren’t all sunshine and rainbows- but for the most part, there should be times in which you are mutually happy and fulfilled by each other. If you are in a relationship where you feel sad or empty when your partner is around, and you never get along, it isn’t likely the relationship consists of true love.
11. You can just sense something isn’t right.
When a relationship isn’t meant to be, both parties can sense this in the beginning stages. No matter how much they may want it to be right- something just feels off. The relationship isn’t stable and feels insecure.
12. You constantly feel judged.
It’s natural to not see eye to eye on everything, but it isn’t our place or our partner’s to judge or demean. Instead, we should be accepting and loving of our partners, while pushing them to be a better version of themselves. But, the pushing should be done with unconditional love, not our judgment or hatred.