As parents, we do not always know what we are doing. Sometimes we make mistakes and that in itself is bound to happen.
When it comes to making the most of the time you have with your kids, you have to make sure that the things you’re doing are not going to hurt them in the long-run. Sure, something might seem harmless now but as your children grow certain things could hold them back as they become adults. If you want your kids to be properly functioning adults, toxic behaviors need to be let go of early on.
Below I am going to go over some things that we as parents tend to not realize can have lasting impacts on our offspring. Sure, some of these might not sound too interesting, but they are all important to be aware of. If you want your kids to grow into adults that can fend for themselves, you need to cut the toxic crap out, as soon as possible.
11 Toxic Things We Tend To Do As Parents That Can Hold Our Children Back Into Adulthood:
1. Only praising your kids when they have done something very ‘big.’
When your kids try their best, they deserve some kind of praise. Sure, they might not have gotten the best possible grade but coming home with a B is still a good thing. As parents, we need to praise our kids whether they’re doing more than most others or not.
2. Forcing your kids to be just like you.
While your kids are like you in some ways, they aren’t going to be miniature versions of you, sorry. Stop trying to make your kids into someone they aren’t. Sure, they might have some similar interests to you but you cannot live your life through them.
3. Not giving your kids the time of day.
Your kids need attention. If you’re ignoring them and pretending they aren’t around, you’re neglecting them. They need you to be there for them.
4. Acting as if nothing your kids do is ever good enough.
Your kids are people just like you and I. They are not going to be perfect all the time. As long as they are doing their best, that should be good enough in your eyes, period.
5. Not letting your kids make any decisions themselves.
Your kids might not need free reign just yet, but they still need to be able to decide some things on their own. The more you allow them control in their own lives within reason the better things will play out as they grow. They don’t need to feel smothered all the time.
6. Refusing to let your kids feel pain/negative emotions.
Your kids are going to have ups and downs. They’re going to face negative emotions and you should allow them to feel those emotions. Don’t tell them to stop whining or force them to feel better in whatever way you see fit, let them feel pain from time to time, it’s not always bad.
7. Expecting your kids to be perfect, all the time.
Your kids are not going to be perfect, they are going to make mistakes just like you do. No one on this planet is perfect, sorry. While you might expect a lot from your kids, there has to be some kind of limit.
8. Embarrassing your kids over and over again.
You might like embarrassing your kid but the more you do it the more they’re not going to like you. This really tears a person down and if they’ve already told you it bothered them why are you still doing it. Do you really not care about the relationship you have with your kid?
9. Making your kid(s) essentially be ‘the parent’ and take care of you.
Your kid(s) are not supposed to grow up so quick. They shouldn’t be having to take care of you, you should be taking care of them. I know, parenting is hard and you might not have known what you were getting into but that doesn’t mean you can ignore the responsibility before you.
10. Invalidating your kids emotions.
Your kids have their own feelings and you should never tell them the things they are feeling are wrong. If they are sad then they are sad, period. That is just how it is.
11. Using fear against your kids to get them to do what you want.
You might want to use fear from time to time but using it as a means to get what you want day in and day out will only make your kids hate you. They want to be close with you, they don’t want to be afraid of you. You’re their parent, not a warden.