In this world, we are surrounded by toxic people, and a lot of the time we do not realize who is toxic quick enough. We allow those who only want to use us far closer than we ever should and cause problems within our own lives as a result.
Toxic people trap us in their web of guilt and pity. They make us feel bad for them and trick us into doing things that we otherwise would never do. The more toxic a person is, the more dangerous they are within our lives.
While not everyone who is toxic realizes that they are toxic, some bring us down on purpose and love treating us like crap. Below are some things you should look for when trying to decide what it is you’re facing with the people in your life. If someone specific is giving off the following signs, they deserve no place in your life, period.
“The Emotional Intelligence Quick Book“ can be a helpful resource for understanding and improving emotional connections in relationships.
10 Signs You’re Stuck Making Excuses and Fighting For A Toxic Person:
1. You know that they’re not putting forth the same efforts you are.
When we find ourselves stuck with someone we shouldn’t be wasting our time on, we usually find that we are putting forth more effort than they are. Usually, they aren’t trying hard at all to keep things going. It’s all you, and you’re at your wit’s end.
2. You are always on eggshells when around this person.
When this person is around, you find yourself quite on edge. You can’t seem to really calm down and are always unsure of how they’re going to react to you. The more you try to please them, the less they seem to notice.
3. You don’t bother opening up to them when they’re upsetting you.
Sure, you could open up to them, but is there any point? They’re not going to care that you’re sad, and they’re going to dismiss your feelings. Does this sound like a healthy relationship to you?
“The Verbally Abusive Relationship” by Patricia Evans can be an eye-opener for those experiencing verbal abuse.
4. You always look at who they could be rather than who they are.
You find yourself looking at all the things that they could be rather than who they are. This is because who they are is quite hurtful and mean towards you. Sure, you are connected, and you feel attached, but is that enough?
5. They’re never happy for you, so sharing good news isn’t something you bother with.
When something good happens, you never feel like you can come home and tell this person. They always bring you down and make your achievements out to be nothing. It’s like you’re never good enough for them.
“Radical Honesty” by Brad Blanton explores the importance of honesty in maintaining healthy relationships.
6. You always downplay the things they do when others are around.
When other people are around, and they are mean, you make excuses. You always find yourself downplaying the things that they do to make them seem less horrible in the eyes of those you consider your friends. This shouldn’t have to happen, ever.
7. No matter how hard you try, it’s like you’re unable to please them.
The harder you try, the less pleased they seem. They are never thankful or appreciative, and you can tell. It’s like you’re just nothing to them, point-blank.
8. You feel guilty when you bring specific things up because of how they react.
You don’t like to get serious or talk about specific things because you don’t want to start a fight or get them worked up. Furthermore, you hate seeing that side of them and do all you can to avoid it. This is not how you should be living. You shouldn’t be afraid of the way the person you’re with is going to react.
“Codependent No More” by Melody Beattie helps those struggling with dependence in their relationships find their strength.
9. You don’t ever get an apology, but find yourself forgiving them anyway.
Furthermore, you always forgive this person for the things they say and do without getting an apology from them. They will ignore you and pretend you do not exist until you change your mind and stop bringing certain things up. It’s like you have no say in the way things move forth at all.
10. You let them make excuses for the way they treat you.
You let them make excuses for the things they do. When they come home and yell at you over nothing you deal with it and the next day when they say it was because they had a rough time at work you accept it. This is not love and this should not be happening.
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P.S. The reason so many men “pull away” from women is because
women don’t understand this naughty secret about men. . .
