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Growing up with a narcissistic parent can have long-lasting effects on your emotional well-being and how you navigate relationships. Narcissistic parents often prioritize their own needs over their children’s, leaving their offspring to grapple with feelings of inadequacy, confusion, and self-doubt. If you were raised by a narcissist, you may not even realize how much their behavior has shaped you. Here are 10 signs that could indicate you were raised by a narcissistic parent.

1. You Struggle With Self-Worth

Narcissistic parents often place unattainable expectations on their children, leading to a constant feeling of inadequacy. No matter what you did or achieved, it was never enough to satisfy them. This can result in low self-esteem, and you may find yourself constantly seeking validation from others.

Consider reading The Self-Esteem Workbook to help rebuild confidence and overcome feelings of inadequacy.

2. You Were Never Allowed to Have Boundaries

Narcissistic parents have no respect for boundaries. They may have invaded your personal space, privacy, or emotions without a second thought. This boundary violation leaves you feeling like you have no control over your own life, and as an adult, you may struggle to assert yourself in relationships.

Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself could help you learn how to establish healthy boundaries.

3. Your Parent Needed to Be the Center of Attention

Narcissists thrive on attention, and as a child, you may have noticed that your parent’s needs always took priority. They may have belittled your accomplishments to make themselves feel superior, or demanded praise even in situations that should have been about you, such as birthdays or graduations.

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents offers insights into dealing with emotionally neglectful or narcissistic parents.

4. You Were Constantly Criticized

If you were raised by a narcissist, you likely experienced constant criticism, whether it was about your appearance, choices, or abilities. Narcissistic parents often find ways to make their children feel small or inadequate as a means of maintaining control and superiority.

The Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Workbook for Perfectionism can provide tools for overcoming critical thoughts and improving self-acceptance.

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5. Your Parent Guilt-Tripped You Regularly

Narcissistic parents often use guilt as a tool to manipulate their children into doing what they want. You may have been made to feel responsible for your parent’s emotions, and if you ever tried to assert your independence, you were likely guilted into compliance.

The Stop Walking on Eggshells” workbook could be a helpful resource in learning how to stop being manipulated by guilt or emotional coercion.

6. You Felt Like You Were Walking on Eggshells

Growing up in a household ruled by a narcissistic parent can feel like walking on eggshells. You never knew what would set them off or how they would react, and as a result, you may have developed hyper-vigilant behavior, constantly trying to avoid conflict or anger.

The Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving guide can help if you find yourself struggling with the emotional effects of a tumultuous childhood.

7. Your Emotions Were Dismissed

Narcissistic parents are typically uninterested in their children’s feelings unless it serves their own needs. If you expressed emotions, especially those that challenged your parent’s worldview or decisions, they were likely dismissed, ridiculed, or met with anger. Over time, this teaches children that their emotions don’t matter, leading to emotional suppression in adulthood.

The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook offers practical tools for processing and validating emotions.

8. You Were Forced to Earn Love

With a narcissistic parent, love and affection are often conditional. You may have had to meet unrealistic expectations to receive praise or affection, and if you failed to do so, love was withdrawn. This can create an unhealthy pattern where you feel you have to earn love in your adult relationships.

The Love Prescription: Seven Days to More Intimacy, Connection, and Joy can help break the cycle of conditional love and promote healthier relationships.

9. You Were Compared to Others Constantly

Narcissistic parents often compare their children to others to maintain control and superiority. You may have been constantly compared to siblings, classmates, or relatives in a way that made you feel inferior. These comparisons were used as tools to manipulate you into striving for perfection, often at the cost of your own well-being.

Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha could help you learn to accept yourself as you are, rather than seeking validation through comparison.

10. You Became a People Pleaser

If you were raised by a narcissist, it’s likely that you developed people-pleasing tendencies in an effort to avoid conflict or gain approval. You may find it difficult to say no, prioritize your needs, or feel secure in relationships without constantly giving more than you receive.

The Codependency No More Workbook can offer guidance in breaking free from people-pleasing and codependent behavior patterns.


Being raised by a narcissistic parent can have a profound impact on your sense of self, your relationships, and your emotional health. Recognizing the signs of narcissistic abuse is the first step in healing from it. By seeking tools and resources to reclaim your self-worth, establish boundaries, and process your emotions, you can begin to overcome the effects of a narcissistic upbringing and build a healthier, more fulfilling life.

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