For some reason, we tend to pick people to be with who do not deserve us. Many of us end up in toxic relationship after toxic relationship and the cycle seems almost neverending.
Sure, we all have a type but falling for the wrong person over and over again can be exhausting, not to mention it takes a serious toll on us. If you are someone that just doesn’t know how to ‘pick them’ there are probably a few things you need to work on. Below you will find a list of reasons why you may be falling for the wrong people repeatedly. Once you are aware of these things you can change them.
13 Reasons Why You Keep Falling for The Wrong Person and How to Stop:
1. You like drama.
If you like drama or cannot stand being bored you probably seek people out who are ‘dramatic’ or ‘exciting.’ These kinds of people are more trouble than they are worth. The more drama in your life the more stress as well.
2. You refuse to be single.
If you refuse to be single you are not letting anyone worth being with come into your life. You are literally just settling on whoever pops up and dating them. Dating is not supposed to work this way.
3. You go into things thinking you can ‘fix’ the other person.
If you go into a relationship already wanting to fix the other person you are in for trouble. You cannot fix people who do not want to be fixed. You can help people to an extent but if they don’t want to help themselves you are wasting your time.
4. You like a challenging partner.
You like a challenge. You want someone who is going to be conflicted with you. This isn’t going to be easy by no means. If you want someone who will last you might want to stop searching for a challenge and just wait until the right person comes your way.
5. You need to feel needed.
If you need to feel needed there is something lacking in your life that you need to address. You need to be content with yourself before you search for someone to be with. Just because someone ‘needs you’ doesn’t mean that they deserve you.
6. Your standards aren’t as high as you think they are.
If your standards are low then you aren’t going to be dating anyone really worth dating. Don’t get me wrong, you shouldn’t have unrealistically high standards but you should at the very least have standards that put your wellbeing first. You are important.
7. You don’t love yourself.
If you don’t love yourself you will let others walk all over you. You have to be true to who you are and love yourself, don’t let others take advantage of you. Love yourself and find someone else who will love you just as much.
8. You think that love can change a person.
If you think that people change because of love or for the people they love you are wrong. People only change for themselves, if they do not want to change they won’t. You cannot save everyone, some people do not want to be saved.
9. You tend to invalidate your own emotions.
If you are invalidating your own emotions other people will as well. Put yourself first and make sure you accept your own emotions. The way that you feel matters.
10. You haven’t gove over any ‘deal breakers’ for your relationships.
You have to set boundaries for yourself. There are things that will be deal breakers within your relationships. For instance, if someone cheats on you that should be the end of things. Somethings cannot be forgiven. Know your boundaries and do not budge on them, don’t let people treat you like shit.
11. You have commitment issues.
If you have commitment issues maybe you are picking shitty people to date so that you don’t have to commit. These relationships are set up to fail from the start. This could even be something you do without realizing it.
12. You cannot handle being alone.
If you don’t know how to function on your own you probably just jump into relationships so that you don’t have to feel lonely. This is something you need to deal with from within. Really think about life and what might be making you feel this way. Growing your own sense of independence might be crucial.
13. You always choose the same kind of person.
If you keep choosing the same guys over and over, of course, things aren’t going to change. Your ‘type’ might not be the type you need to be going for. If they’re all similar try to think outside of the box and give someone different a chance next go around.
If you do these things or even just a few of these things you need to work through them while single before trying to date again. Sometimes being single and getting yourself together is the best route when it comes to finding someone who is worth your time. Don’t let toxic people rule your life, be your own person. Stop choosing the same kinds of people, spend some time alone, get to know yourself, and set real boundaries.