Love is a constant throughout our lives, whether we are trying to find it, trying to understand it, or trying to heal from the effects of its end. And no matter how much we may try to avoid it, it is best to follow our heart, and seek its presence in our life, while knowing that the emotions we all feel don’t always equate to a happy ending.
So how do we tell the difference between true love, and toxic codependency? Are the emotions you feel actually that of true love, or are they simple equatable to that of a toxic and non dependent bond, that will inevitably lead us to heartbreak?
In order to better understand, you must first realize this: a healthy relationship isn’t one that is fell into. It is one that we grow in. We don’t fall into true love, and we don’t feel as though we are being driven to the brink of insanity when we are truly in love. While it is best to love unconditionally, overlooking the flaws of our partners to the point of completely sacrificing everything that we stand for, is the exact definition of allowing ourselves to be taken over by codependency.
In relationships full of codependency, we may feel fiercely attracted to our partner, while being overwhelmed with anxiety. As we grow to know this person, we will continue to grow dissatisfied by who they are, while lacking the insight and foresight necessary to part ways and grow with another.
Instead of understanding that we must either accept the person we love, or move on, we may feel the need to change them. Rather than loving them for who they are, we will grow to resent them and feel unloved the entire way.
True love embraces the individuality of our partner, and their ability to be someone all on their own, without our judgment. If you can’t accept someone, and you can’t let them go, then you aren’t in love. You are toxically entwined with someone with whom you can’t love, but tied to them through something far beyond your control.
Seek resolution from within. Don’t allow yourself to become lost to someone with whom you can’t truly love, but instead, to someone you are in bondage to. And when you realize the difference, allow yourself to let go.