While we all know that emotional and verbal abuse exist, most of us cast aside a lot of things that are exactly that. We think that some things are perfectly normal when in reality they’re pretty damn toxic.
Emotional abuse overall can be hard to spot sometimes because in this day and age it has been normalized to a certain degree. We think that the things we’ve gone through in the past will continue in the future without considering whether or not those things are even supposed to be put up with in the first place and honestly, that’s pretty sad. We all deserve to live lives where we are not being torn apart, above all else.
When your partner is always guilt-tripping you into things, they are abusing you. You might not see it as abuse but it is abuse. Things like playing the victim, giving the silent treatment, and so much more are all means of controlling someone else and while we shouldn’t be allowing anyone to do these things to us, we all too often end up allowing exactly that.
Psychology Today wrote as follows on this topic:
Emotional abuse may start out innocuously, but grow as the abuser becomes more assured that you won’t leave the relationship. It may not begin until after an engagement, marriage, or pregnancy. If you look back, you may recall tell-tale signs of control or jealousy. Eventually, you and the entire family will “walk on eggshells” and adapt so as not to upset the abuser. Being subjected to emotional abuse over time can lead to anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, inhibited sexual desire, chronic pain, or other physical symptoms.
People who respect and honor themselves won’t allow someone to abuse them. Many people allow abuse to continue because they fear confrontations. Usually, they are martyrs, caretakers, or pleasers. They feel guilty and blame themselves. Some aren’t able to access their anger and power in order to stand up for themselves, while others ineffectively argue, blame, and are abusive themselves, but they still don’t know how to set appropriate boundaries.
If you’ve allowed abuse to continue, there’s a good chance that you were abused by someone in your past, although you may not recognize it as such. It could have been a strict or alcoholic father, an invasive mother, or a teasing sibling. Healing involves understanding how you’ve been abused, forgiving yourself, and rebuilding your self-esteem and confidence.
At the end of the day, if you’re not able to be open with someone and sit down to talk things through without them blowing up, you’re probably facing some kind of abuse. If you have to wonder what you’re dealing with then you’re probably allowing more than you should within your life. You shouldn’t be letting someone close to you belittle you or invalidate you. You matter just as much as they do and when it comes to relationships if you’re not both on the same page things will never work.
To learn more about all of this take a look at the video below. Things like this are all too common and that needs to change. We need to talk about this sort of issue more so that people can get the help they need.