Sadly, when it comes to being with a narcissist you often don’t notice you are with one until things have reached an unhealthy level. They are very good at hiding their true colors and you wouldn’t be able to spot one as easily as you might think.
Now, there are some people who are lucky enough to escape the clutches of a narcissist, but before that happens they are damaged. Just because she is no longer in the relationships that doesn’t mean she is not going through something terrible, even now. You see, she wasn’t aware of the pain and suffering she was signing herself up for.
She was and is still a victim long after her abuser is gone. Her mind is not where it was before she became a part of that relationship. She is haunted and unable to trust even those who truly care for her because she thought he was there for her. Trust is something that will take awhile for her to learn again.
She is unable to find love for herself. She believes now more than ever that she is not good enough for anyone. You see when you are not appreciated in a relationship, by the person whose appreciation you needed the most it changes you. It makes you question everything. It makes you feel as if you just really aren’t worth anyone’s time.
Sure, she may now know that the relationship she was in was toxic and that there was nothing good coming from it, but she is still in a mindset different from where she needs to be. She still sees his face everywhere; she is afraid to love again. She will be empty for awhile and to be completely honest she will probably miss him too, even though he was abusing and using her she still really did love him.
She needs time to learn to love herself again, and to figure out where this life is going to take her from here. No, she does not need someone to come in and swoop her off of her feet. No, this is not one of those articles where someone tries to convince you that a new man will make everything okay because it won’t.
She needs to work on herself and allow her heart to come back when it is the right time. She can and will overcome everything the narcissist put her through in time. Time heals all wounds and allows us to find things in ourselves we thought we had lost forever.
She will come out of all of this better than she was before she entered that hellacious relationship in general. She is strong and she can overcome. No one who has been broken by a narcissist is a lost cause.
We can all get back to where we want to be. Believe in yourself and everything will work out in the end. Don’t give up on yourself, because you deserve so much more than you know, everything will be just fine.