In a world where everyone is so worried about kissing up and to make their way to the top, every woman needs to find that one friend that isn’t afraid to tell them the truth – the whole truth, and nothing but the truth! It is through brutal honesty that she will really show you how much she cares!
Look around you for a second and you’ll notice that we, as a society, have accepted the idea that a little white lie is sometimes better than telling the truth, because the truth hurts. It’s completely harmless right? Telling your friend that she looks great in the dress she fell in love with at the store that doesn’t quite fit right, agreeing with your bestie that she obviously made the right choice getting involved with her latest network marketing efforts or agreeing with your girl that she’s totally ready for a puppy.
Let’s step back for a moment and look at each of those situations. While you may have avoided the uncomfortable moment where you have to tell them what you know that they don’t want to hear, but was it really worth it?
When you friend is walking into the club thinking she looks AMAZING (after all, you told her that she did, so why wouldn’t she) until she overhears the whispers of the guys behind her about how she needs to go on a diet if she’s going to squeeze her fat ass into that tiny dress – Was the white lie still the best choice? As you watch the pain on her face from our overly critical and image focused society coming down on her for the poorly fit dress, is this really easier than speaking up? Or should have you have been honest at the time, redirecting her to a dress that complimented her body, turning heads as she walked into the room?
When your bestie calls you up frustrated because she’s sinking more money into the latest network marketing fad then she’s getting out of it, not only facing the fact she made a poor decision but also that it’s a costly one, do you still think that you should bite your tongue? Did you not have the power to encourage her to steer clear of an obvious scam?
When your girl is at her wits end, her new puppy destroying the apartment she worked so hard to put together – Is her current stress and frustration a bigger struggle than the slight discomfort of letting her know that you didn’t believe that cute puppy face wasn’t nearly as innocent as it came across. As you watch that adorable little puppy grow into a big, poorly trained and misbehaved dog because she didn’t have the time to properly train it with her hectic schedule, were you avoiding pain or were you setting her up for failure?
It’s a hard reality to accept, but the most amazing, real and genuine friends in your life are the ones who want the best for you, even if it means that they have to make you a little uncomfortable (or a lot uncomfortable in some cases) in the moment to avoid a much bigger disaster down the road. These are the girlfriends that aren’t afraid to call you out on your bad haircut choices before you walk into the salon, or to reveal that your ‘Mr. Right’ is nothing more than a manipulative ass, playing her to get whatever he wants without any intention of actually committing long-term.
When someone tap dances around the truth, kissing ass and showering you with nothing but rainbows and puppy dogs, they aren’t actually doing it for you. Sure, they may think that they are doing you a favor but the harsh reality is that they are opting for the selfish option, putting their own comfort ahead of your happiness. They would rather kiss up to you now, agreeing with everything that you do, right or wrong, despite the pain it can bring you down the road. These girls aren’t your best friends – a best friend is someone that has your best interests at heart!
So, to all the ladies out there that recognize the importance of true honesty in your friendships, this one’s for you! I may not always want to hear it, hell, I may even lash out at first, but at the end of the day when I’m looking back, you’re the real deal!
If you have found one of these amazing women, never let her go! Show her how much you care for her by showing her the same level of respect in return. If you haven’t found her yet, your future bestie is still out there somewhere! Don’t give up hope, you’ll find her!
Image via The Power of Silence