We all wish that relationships came with an instruction manual, walking us through everything from what our partner will expect from us at each stage of the relationship, to the exact moment that you should take your relationship to the next level. Unfortunately, it’s not that easy. Instead, we are forced to learn first hand through experience, feeling it out blindly on our own. This can be exciting, but also incredibly overwhelming.
The world of love and dating will bring its highs and its lows. One minute you may be on top of the world, head over heels in love with the person that you believe is the love of your life, and the next you are accepting that he’s ‘just not that into you.’ It’s not easy. At the end of the day you just have to remember that you may have to kiss a lot of toads before you discover your prince charming, but when you do he will be completely worth it.
If you have found someone that makes your heart race and your palms sweat, someone that you could see yourself building a life with, how do you know that he’s feeling the same way? If you are looking for a little comfort and reassurance regarding the stability of your relationship, and where his head is at, pay attention to the little changes in his life. There are a number of things that men will start to do when they get serious about a relationship, indications that he’s looking to the future and he sees you in it.
Pay Attention to These 9 Little Things That He Will Do When He Knows He Found ‘The One’:
#1 – His body language becomes more open and vulnerable.
Body language is a great indicator of how someone is feeling at any moment. Early in a relationship, even when one is claiming to ‘open up’ to their prospective partner our body language will reveal that we are still trying to protect ourselves, crossing our arms, maintaining some distance from our partner or even avoiding too much eye contact. As we become comfortable, that body language will shift into a more open approach, allowing ourselves to be vulnerable with our partner. This will include opening up our body to our partner, looking directly at them, and even relaxing our attire around them compared to the rest of the world.
#2 – He becomes instinctively protective of you, even if you don’t need protection.
This isn’t to say that he starts fighting your battles, calling up your boss to tell him off for not appreciating you enough or arguing with your brother for hurting your feelings. Instead, it’s the little moments and changes that show he is trying to keep you safe. He is alert, watching for potential danger such as checking the road for traffic or placing himself between you and a potential risk. He likely doesn’t even realize that he is doing any of this, but he is stepping into the role of protector because he cares for you so deeply.
#3 – He goes out of his way to make time for the things that you want to do.
When a man has reservations about the potential future with his partner, he will likely hold onto his own interests, hobbies, and routines. After all, should the relationship end tomorrow, he will still have these things in his life. However, if he begins to see a future together then your interests suddenly become more important. He will start to make time for the things that matter to you, sacrificing his own time. He knows that he has a whole life ahead of him to play his favorite sport or watch the movies he wants to watch, right now he just wants to make you happy.
#4 – He begins to make more of an effort to connect with your friends and family.
This is an important shift. Not only does he want to spend more time with your friends and family, encouraging you to make plans where you can all be together, but he actually makes an effort to connect with each of them. This includes starting and engaging in more conversations, going out of his way to find common interests or even taking the time to open himself up to new experiences and interests so that he can have something to connect over. He knows that they are important to you, and he wants to be part of your inner circle.
#5 – He puts more focus into his career, looking to establish a stable financial foundation for a relationship.
When he makes the shift from being a guy who is just ‘dating’ to stepping into a serious relationship, this often involves considering the responsibilities that come with this type of long-term commitment. One such responsibility is the ability to create a solid and stable financial foundation, ensuring that you will have the money that you need to begin building your life together. If this starts to occupy his mind, you may notice that he suddenly takes his career far more seriously, he’s working hard for that raise or promotion, considering a change into a more ‘serious’ job or simply putting in more hours in the office to get that extra overtime pay.
#6 – His language begins to shift from ‘me’ and ‘I’ to ‘we.’
While he may not flat out tell you that he believes you are the one, pay attention to what he has to say as his language may give you a pretty clear indication. When he takes that step into ‘serious relationship’ territory you will notice that he starts using the pronoun ‘we’ more often. For example, if a friend asks what he’s up to this weekend, he may answer ‘we don’t have plans’ or ‘we are looking forward to checking out the new restaurant that opened downtown.’ This shows that he is considering his identity to not only include himself but you as well.
#7 – He begins to make an effort to let go of bad or negative habits.
We all have those few habits in our lives that we know we should probably make an effort to remove from our lives, but we’ve just never taken that step. This could be eating out all the time, smoking, spending too much time watching television, or keeping a disorganized home. When we are first dating someone, we still maintain a certain distance from the ‘relationship,’ holding onto our solo identity, however, as we take the relationship to the next step we are now looking at allowing our partner into a larger part of our lives. In many cases, this shift is enough to trigger the need to ‘clean up our act,’ making an effort to be a better version of ourselves. Take note if he is trying to improve his life.
#8 – He makes an effort to genuinely listen to you more.
It’s not that he didn’t listen to you before, but there are different types of listening, each demonstrating a different level of interest. Early on, he may have given the impression that he listened to you while he was actually just waiting for his chance to talk, sharing things that he thought would interest you or attract you. Eventually, that shifts into listening so that he can repeat a few words back, showing you that he’s making an effort. However, when the relationship begins to get serious, he will start listening with the intention of understanding because he truly cares about you. This means listening to the meaning behind the words, not just the words themselves.
#9 – He may get a little more comfortable with his attire or put on a couple pounds.
Early in the dating process, we go out of our way to impress one another. You make sure your clothing selection is always on point, your hair is neatly groomed, and you look amazing. For some, this may include working out more and being careful what you’re eating in order to keep your ‘fit’ appearance. If he believes that he has moved from this stage of the relationship onto the next, you may notice that there is a slight drop in this effort. He may gain a couple pounds or opt for his favorite shirt in place of the one that makes him ‘look impressive.’ It isn’t that he doesn’t care, it means that he is becoming more comfortable in your relationship.