Sure, we all want the best for our kids but we are human and humans make mistakes. Being the perfect parent is not possible.
Gaslighting can happen in any relationship and it happens a lot in parent-child relationships. Below I am going to go over some of the more common ways we end up gaslighting our children. We might think of these things as harmless but they are not doing any good for our kids. We should do our best to do better and avoid gaslighting the people around us, our children included.
7 Gaslighting Techniques We Sometimes Use On Our Children Without Noticing:
Mocking your children is just as bad as someone else doing it if not worse. You are the person who is supposed to make them feel safe and comfortable. When they are around you the last thing they want you to be doing is mocking them.
2. Lying To Them
Don’t get me wrong, we all lie to our kids at one point or another and it isn’t necessarily a bad thing but lying to them all the time causes problems. This makes them question their reality and leaves them wondering what is real and what is not. They should not be feeling this way.
3. Using What They Love Against Them
Sure, sometimes you need to take something away from your kids to get them to listen but doing this all the time is not a good way to teach them. You shouldn’t have to separate them from something they love to make them cooperate. It can really play into their mental health in more ways than you might think.
Dismissing your child or his or her emotions will only make him or her refuse to feel them at all. This is a very serious form of abuse. If you dismiss their emotions you are causing damage to their emotional development itself. Don’t tell them they aren’t sad when they are, they know what they are feeling.
5. Ignoring Them
By ignoring your children you are pushing bad social skills onto them. They will feel neglected and as they age they will not feel like they can come and talk to you about serious things. We don’t like being ghosted, why ghost those you created? Your children are supposed to see you as their safety blanket.
6. Exaggerating Consequences
Exaggerating the consequences of things will make your children much more paranoid than they should be. It created a breeding ground for anxiety and is overall not going to do any good. Do you want your children to be nervous messes?
7. Forcing Them
Just because you are overwhelmed doesn’t mean doing all of these things are okay and just because you might find yourself doing one of these things from time to time doesn’t make you a bad parent. We all live and learn. We make mistakes and we find lessons within them all. Just take your kids wellbeing seriously and in the end, everything will work out. Perhaps think a bit deeper before doing these things next time.
Image via Upvee