“The funny thing about a strong woman is that she doesn’t need you… she wants you. And if you start slacking she’ll be content without you.”
Alpha women are a force to be reckoned with. They know what they want and what they deserve, and they aren’t afraid to get it regardless of how much hard work and tenacity it may require. Career oriented, successful and highly driven, there is no challenge too big and no accomplishment out of reach.
These women have a need for control and they tend to be highly perfectionist in nature. Sonya Rhodes, Ph.D. explains, “In a group of women, the Alpha is the one who exerts power and influence through her ability to take charge of the conversation.” Often interested in taking a position of leadership, they lead by example unafraid to get involved and get their hands dirty.
However, as Rhodes explains, there are those that don’t fit the outgoing, career-driven stereotype. She goes on to say, “Can you be an Alpha if you’re not a big earner or powerful out in the working world? Of course! Lily, a physician and a mother of two, works between fifteen and twenty hours a week to her husband’s seventy-hours-plus. She puts it this way: ‘I’m an Alpha in disguise. I don’t wear my Alpha on my sleeve.’”
The dating field can be incredibly difficult to manoeuvre as an Alpha female. Many men are intimidated by their power and success, unable to comprehend where they would fit into a relationship with a woman of such strength. However, don’t be discouraged. There are amazing men out there as long as you keep the door to your heart open.
Here are 14 qualities that every Alpha woman should look for in a man:
He isn’t afraid of self-reflection.
We are all going to make mistakes or take a wrong step in life. There are a few different ways that someone can deal with this, they may avoid their mistakes, deny their errors, or open themselves to the idea of self-reflection, taking this as an opportunity to grow and evolve.
He isn’t afraid to stand up to you.
There is something incredibly attractive about a man who can look you in the eye with all your strength and power and stand up to you when it is necessary. This doesn’t mean he is looking for a fight, but that he will shut down your BS, protecting you from potentially bad fall out when needed.
He is a strong and stable individual.
Your life can sometimes be hectic, trying and a little crazy to those that are along for the ride. With all of this going on you don’t have time to be chasing down an unstable partner, dealing with their unreliable, overly emotional and illogical decisions.
He is grounded enough that he can handle your moods.
With a strong, driven personality also comes a deep and intense set of emotions. In most areas of your life, you keep these emotions under control, presenting a cool, calm and collected front. You do, however, need a safe space at home and in your relationship to express and ‘feel’ these emotions. You need a man that not only doesn’t take it personally when you lash out, but that can help you deal with these emotions and calm your mind.
He doesn’t feel the need to air your dirty laundry.
Even the strongest and healthiest of relationships will face conflict and disagreement from time to time. You aren’t interested in a relationship of drama and games and don’t need to waste your time on a man who will bring that into your life.
He has established a full life already on his own.
You aren’t looking for someone to follow around kissing and worshipping the ground that you walk on in an attempt to find their way into your life. You need to find a man who can stand on his own two feet, with his own complete and fulfilling life.
He keeps laughing, even when you’re at your worst.
We’ve all heard the saying, if you can’t love me at my worst you don’t deserve me at my best. Don’t forget the truth and wisdom behind this statement. You need a man who can hold your hand and encourage you when times are challenging and pick you up when you’re down all while bringing a smile to your face and some light to the darkness.
He challenges you in all the best ways.
You are used to the fact that everyone around you bows down to your every whim, letting you have whatever you want when you want it. The truth is that you will never learn and grow if everything is handed to you. Instead, allow yourself to be challenged by someone.
He’s a realist and can keep you centred.
There are times that your Alpha personality will keep you so focused on the future and what ‘could be’ that you lose sight of the reality before you. You need a man who is a realist, able to see the world for what it is and remind you when necessary.
He isn’t afraid to apologize, and when he does he means it.
One of the best tools to succeed in a relationship is the ability to apologize – truthfully, genuinely and honestly. You need a man who can accept when he has done something wrong and willing apologize for his mistakes.
He’s not overly jealous.
You are not about to limit your life and the things you love merely to keep the peace. If you find a man that jumps quickly to fits of jealousy steer clear, you don’t need that drama in your life.
He happily leads your cheering section in life.
You are strong, driven and motivated and can take on the world alone, and he is the first person standing there cheering you on as you do so. He doesn’t feel like your relationship is any worse off because you are self-sufficient, in fact, he respects that side of you and supports you every step of the way.
He possesses his own strong ambition.
There is nothing that drives you nuts more than someone who is happy with sitting back and riding the waves of the status quo. Instead, search for a man with a strong ambition and together you will become the next power couple.
He keeps his mind open, always willing to learn.
Those who truly succeed in life are the individuals that are ready and willing to learn and grow every step of the way. It helps us to become better, stronger individuals, working towards our best self. This is something that you value highly in your life, and you need to find a man who is on the same journey.