Being around a master manipulator can make you doubt everything you believe. These manipulators are skilled at getting whatever they want from whomever they want, and they don’t care what they have to do to get there.
In some cases, they may push you to do things you otherwise would never dream of, and when you voice your concerns, they manipulate you into believing it’s in your best interest. If you’ve ever been the victim of manipulation, then you already know how damaging it can be. Most manipulators do treacherous things to people they claim to love, leaving them in tatters when they are finished.
If you fear someone may be manipulating you, here are 13 signs that indicate a master manipulator.
1. They come on very intensely.
In the beginning, manipulators use ‘love bombing’ to get close to others. While this is most often notable in romantic relationships, manipulators love bomb friends, coworkers, and others. They intend to be on their best behavior, so you are more likely to fall for their tactics.
2. They use guilt as a weapon.
Manipulators will work to make you feel sorry for them. If you don’t follow through with something they want from you, or if you try to derail their manipulation tactics, prepare for them to bring on the guilt trip.
3. They are always the victim.
One clue a manipulative person will give is to constantly talk about how they have been the victims of others. In relationships, their ex is always a psycho, their parents victimized them, and pretty much everyone who has ever crossed them has victimized them.
4. They distort everything.
While everyone else will see their manipulation for what it is, the manipulator distorts reality to make it more palatable. Rather than them being manipulative, they are just trying to do the right thing. Or, rather than them abusing you, they were just working to defend themselves. They always spin things in their favor.
5. They lie, a lot.
Manipulators have no problem lying. They lie about everything. You will even find that they lie about stupid things, like small details about their lunch, or things they have experienced. They completely fabricate everything, because they need for people to bend to their will.
6. They are bullies.
Manipulators are bullies. However, their bullying tactics are much different than most, so at first, you may not even be able to see it. However, if you ever witness someone crossing them and what they want, their true nature bubbles to the surface.
7. They are passive-aggressive.
Because manipulators don’t always want to be obvious about their tendencies, they often resort to passive-aggressive behaviors. You will likely hear them saying sarcastic things, notice them pouting, or give you the silent treatment.
8. They use your insecurities against you.
Manipulators are cunning in how they work. If you ever let them in on something that makes you feel vulnerable, they will likely use it against you. For example, if your partner knows you have insecurities about your weight, they may say something like, “Your outfit looks great today. You don’t look nearly as fat as usual.”
9. They gaslight.
Manipulators will work to make you feel crazy, to gain control. If you call them out on their bad behaviors, they will call you crazy, or sensitive, or say “That didn’t happen like that.” After a while, they may make you doubt your recollection of things.
10. They smear campaign.
If the manipulator cannot win you over, or if you do anything that goes against what they want, they will push back hard. They will find your friends, coworkers, and anyone who will listen, and lie and smear your reputation. They want you to feel isolated, so they can manipulate you.
11. They constantly move the goal post.
Another tactic a manipulator uses is to constantly readjust their expectations. They will get you to do one thing for them, and then as soon as you’ve done it, they will change their expectations and act as though you aren’t good enough. As long as you constantly feel like you haven’t done enough, they can continue to manipulate you.
12. They project.
Manipulators use smokescreens or projection. For example, you may say, “I don’t appreciate how you have been talking to me. It makes me feel taken for granted.” They may say, “Really? You always take me for granted. And everyone else, too.” By doing this, they turn the tables on you.
13. They have no respect for your boundaries.
Manipulators couldn’t care less about the boundaries of others. If you tell them you need space, they will show up at your front door within minutes. Be wary of people that disrespect your boundaries, it’s a major red flag.