While it might not always seem like it sometimes when we have good intentions they don’t follow through as we would want them to. Sure, we push our children to do their best, but are we pushing them in the right areas?
Parents can be either too protective or not protective enough when it comes to their children, and that can in many ways hold them back. If you’ve been unable to find that sweet spot in the middle, chances are you’ve done at least a few things to ‘damage’ your kid without noticing. That being said, no one is perfect and if your kid is happy and healthy, that is all that matters at the end of the day.
Below I am going to go over some things that we as parents should remember when it comes to our kids. These things can be more harmful than we tend to really stop and consider. Just because others are partaking doesn’t mean we should just weigh the odds out before moving forth in any area.
13 Harmful Things Parents Do To Their Children Without Realizing The Dangers:
1. Spoiling them rather than apologizing to them when we’ve upset them wrongfully.
When we do something to hurt our kids and realize it we should apologize. Sure, a new toy is nice and all, but that’s not exactly going to make the issue itself go away. Your kid is still going to be hurting and he or she is going to want you to make things right properly, even if he or she never comes forward and says as much.
2. Pretending as though we do not make mistakes.
We all make mistakes even as parents we are not perfect. Making sure that your kid knows this is important. You can’t just pretend you’ve never done anything wrong in life and make yourself out to be someone you’re not. Your children are not going to learn how to address their own mistakes if you aren’t capable of even showing them yours.
3. Making promises that we don’t keep.
When we as parents fail to follow through we damage our kids on an emotional level. Sure, sometimes things happen and plans will fall through, but if it’s happening time and time again your child is not going to feel like he or she can rely on you. This makes connections harder for him/her as growth occurs.
4. Arguing with our partners in front of them and not being kind to one another.
We should not argue with our lovers or partners in front of our kids. Sure, they might overhear things from time to time, but they don’t need to see the worst in you and your partner as it comes out. You should show them how to treat one another and be kind above all else.
5. Refusing to let them make mistakes.
We all make mistakes, and pushing your children to be perfect is never the route to go. Your kids need to be capable of failing so that they can truly succeed. As long as they’re doing their best, you should not fault them for the things going on around them.
6. We let them spend too much time online.
While it might seem easier to let your kids spend all of their free time on the computer or on a cellphone, that shouldn’t be happening. You should always limit their presence online and the time they spend with technology. The more disconnected they are in that world, the better, for a number of reasons.
7. We expect them to do adult things at a child’s age.
While it might not always seem like it, children are children. Let your kids be kids, don’t force them to grow up too quickly. Allow them to enjoy being young while they are still able to. Being in this world as an adult is hard.
8. Comparing them to other kids.
We should never compare our children to others. Sure, there might be more successful kids, but never make your child feel like you’d rather have their teammate rather than them. Your kid is fragile and needs you to be there to make him/her feel better at the worst moment s in their lives. They might really want to be good at basketball but if they aren’t then they just aren’t.
9. We aren’t as present as we should be during playtime or are too present.
When your kids are outside playing, go out and watch them. Spend time really getting to know the things they like and how they want to move forth. Don’t stand over them and make them feel insecure about having fun, but if they want you to watch them jump rope, watch them jump rope.
10. We refuse to allow them proper boundaries.
Our children need their own personal boundaries. While you might not want them to keep things from you the reality is that there are some things that they just won’t want to share. By allowing them boundaries within reason, you’re also keeping them from constantly lying to you and hiding things.
11. We don’t listen to them properly.
If your kid comes to you and wants to talk, don’t shut him/her out. Listen to what they have to say and when you’re really heated and arguing sit back and relax before moving forth. We should always be willing to listen to the words our kids have to offer us. They are after all quite deserving of this common courtesy.
12. We expect them to learn from our mistakes rather than their own.
We have to let our kids make their own mistakes. Sure, they can learn from yours on some level but at the end of the day unless they’re experiencing it firsthand it won’t sink in as you’d want it to. They have to go through things just like everyone else does.
13. Acting as if they are our property versus literal human beings.
Our children might need us, and we might be responsible for them, but above all else, they are human beings. They are not our property, and we do not own them. We must help them grow and teach them what is right and what is wrong, but we also need to respect them.