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The discovery of your ‘twin flame’ is often seen as the ultimate search when it comes to relationships, that one person who is truly destined to come into your life. However, for some, this is a frustrating quest that appears to have no end.

If you feel like you have been searching for your twin flame for forever with no luck, maybe it’s time to take a look at why.

The twin flame connection is one that surpasses any human emotion or feelings of romance, this is someone you were paired within the Universe long before you stepped foot on Earth in this life. You are destined to meet one another, and the only people that can prevent that from happening is the two of you. While there are no guarantees in life, every situation is different and unique, there are some bad habits that been found to lower your chances of finding that one special person anytime soon. Are you looking to speed up the process? Take a step back and reflect on your life today.

Here are 12 habits that may be preventing you from finding your twin flame:

#1 – You continue to hold onto pain from your past.

Your heart is burdened by the pain, suffering, and heartbreak from your past, and you are unable to let it go. You look back on your life with feelings of shame, guilt, and disappointment, wishing that you could go back and make different choices. These negative and toxic feelings can actually change your heart, harden it to the world, alter your vibrational energy and block you from connecting with anyone at a meaningful level. The only way you are ever going to discover and connect with your twin flame is to first focus on self-forgiveness. You are not defined by your past.

#2 – You refuse to let go of incorrect beliefs or stereotypes about relationships.

There is A LOT of information out there about relationships including what they should look like, how they should come to be and what that ‘instant spark’ should feel like. True relationships, however, aren’t the sunshine and rainbows that we often have seen in the movies. Instead, they are deeper and more meaningful, but at the same time more demanding. If you’ve been programmed by society to look for that easy, ‘perfect’ relationship you may have passed your twin flame over entirely.

#3 – You are looking for someone to complete you.

This is a misconception created by our society today, but it’s one that may be holding you back from finding that one special person. If you have been led to believe that meeting your twin flame means finding someone that can ‘complete’ you, then you are looking in all the wrong places. The truth is that you are a complete being all on your own, someone capable of facing the world without anyone by your side. When you find your twin flame, they will compliment you, and you will compliment them – you will have the ability to challenge one another, push one another to be your ‘best selves’, but never allow yourself to feel ‘incomplete’ on your own.

#4 – You consistently attract the wrong type of person.

We’ve heard it before, those who admit that they have a type, and that type is less than desirable. If you look back on your dating history and discover a pattern of toxic or abusive partners, then it’s time to consider something you likely don’t want to hear. What is the common denominator here? It’s you. It’s time to look at the vibe that you’re putting out into the world. There’s something that’s attracting negativity… Look at the way you communicate with others, the way you carry yourself and, most importantly, what kind of energy you welcome into your life. Fix your own aura first, and you will see a shift in the people that you attract.

#5 – You love the idea of love, but you’re ready for love.

While most of us seek to find that one true love, the person who makes our heart race and our palms sweat, love is more than just a fairy tale. Real love requires hard work, compromise, dedication, and commitment. A twin flame relationship takes this even further, as your twin flame comes into our lives to push us to grow and evolve into a greater version of ourselves. However, you can’t grow unless you’re ready to physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. If the Universe can sense that you aren’t ready to take on this journey, it will ensure that you don’t make this connection until you are. If you find yourself frustrated that you haven’t met ‘the one’ yet, consider doing some serious self-reflection.

#6 – You are simply looking too hard.

This may sound completely counterproductive, but there is such thing as trying TOO hard to find someone. In fact, your well-intentioned efforts may actually be driving your twin flame away. Why? The harder you try, the greater you build this whole situation up in your mind. You may actually be inadvertently setting the expectations too high and in doing so, creating an image that your twin flame will never live up to. This may even lead to you meeting and overlooking your twin flame entirely. Take a step back and find something else to focus on in your life, like a hobby or your career. Taking yourself out of the situation and clearing your head for a short period of time may be just the key.

#7 – You aren’t capable of being truly vulnerable.

In order to connect at the level required of a twin flame relationship, you must be willing to lower all barriers and inhibitions. Only genuine vulnerability will allow you to identify and connect with your twin flame on the level that is required for this relationship to happen. If, however, you hold back or fail to open your heart and soul to the idea of your twin flame, you are cutting any chance of this connection from forming. Sure, it’s not going to be easy, being vulnerable leaves you open to possible pain and heartbreak, but it will be worth it.

#8 – You are allowing yourself to remain in your comfort zone.

If you spend your whole life in the same routine, going to the same bars, visiting the same gym and buying your coffee at the same coffee shop, what are the odds that you are going to meet someone new? Sure, there will be the odd new people you come across, but most of the people will be the same. Instead, push yourself to get out of your comfort zone. Try a new restaurant, join a new workout class – you never know where you’re going to meet your twin flame, but putting yourself out there will increase the odds that you will cross paths.

#9 – You fail to truly be yourself.

Your twin flame connection isn’t one that solely exists in this life. Instead, it is one that extends far beyond this life. It is for this reason that you will ultimately find your twin flame in any life that you live. However, this requires you and your twin to be able to recognize one another’s energy and frequency at a deep, spiritual level. If, however, you are choosing to deny your true self, living a lie, you will alter this energy. This will prevent you from any chance of connecting. Take the time to discover and embrace your true self, and your connection with your twin flame will follow.

#10 – You are still holding onto a love from your past.

Let’s be honest, your twin flame very likely isn’t going to be the only person that you are going to connect with during this life. Love is far more complicated than that. Each person that holds a piece of your heart leaves their mark, changing your vibrational energy until such time that you let them go. If you are still holding tight to a love from your past, this change may be enough that your energy will no longer sync with that of your twin flame, drawing you together. You will be unable to locate one another.

#11 – You aren’t yet prepared to settle down.

Each of us will go through various phases in our lives. Take, for example, the teens and young 20-somethings often seen out living it up in the bar scene. If you are still in a similar stage, out finding yourself, then it wouldn’t matter who you meet – you simply aren’t ready to abandon your life of fun and adventure to settle down. There’s nothing wrong with this, no one said you have to meet your twin flame tomorrow or it will never happen. Take the time you need, get this out of your system, and move naturally to the next phase in your life.

#12 – You believe that your twin flame will swoop in and save you from this life.

This is one of the biggest misconceptions of what it means to meet your twin flame and one that will prevent it from ever happening at all. Take a step back and reconsider why you are so eager for this to happen. Are you looking to the future and your ability to be a better, stronger and more spiritually in tune version of yourself? Or, are you simply looking for someone to save you from your current reality? If you are looking for nothing more than an escape, then you truly don’t understand the role that your twin flame is sent to play in your life. Going back to point #5, this simply proves that you aren’t ready for the process.