We all have that one person in our lives that exemplifies everything that we know about care and compassion. They will bend over backwards in their efforts to care for others, going to extreme lengths to spread joy, happiness and love everywhere they go.
This is the person who, when they encounter someone homeless on the street stops to assist. They will go as far as not only providing them with money but to buy them a meal, ask them how they are doing and open their heart, genuinely listening to the response.
Unlike those who can be identified as ‘nice,’ motivated by their need for approval, validation and acceptance by others around them, ‘kind’ people don’t require an outside source of motivation for their actions. Instead, they are driven by an internal sense of right and wrong, and a belief that they are called to care for everyone that they meet. Naturally helpful, caring and generous, they often don’t even recognize their actions as being exceptional or inspirational as the rest of us do while watching them. Instead, they simply act out of instinct, exuding joy and light for all who are lucky enough to be in their presence.
Unfortunately, while these individuals are busy bringing happiness to everyone else around them, most ‘kind’ people struggle to discover happiness in their own lives. Constantly giving to others, they are not receiving the same positive energies and blessings from those that they encounter.
Here are 11 reasons why kind people are more likely to struggle in their search for happiness:
They often live their lives in fear.
Each of us is afraid of something in life. For some it is snakes or spiders, for others, it may be heights. Kind people are afraid that they are going to hurt the people in their lives, the exact opposite of all that they actually do for the people that they meet. This fear causes them to live their lives walking on eggshells, desperately trying to ensure that they don’t upset anyone else.
They are workaholics.
Ensuring that no one is ever disappointed on their watch, a kind person will give up any plans that they may have in order to work harder and meet a deadline. If they are working on a group project and the other partners in their group are failing to carry their load the kind person will take it all on, working that much harder to ensure that it comes out just right.
They stress themselves out.
Kind people hold themselves highly responsible for the outcome of every word they speak and every action that they take. When those that they are about are dealing with a problem, kind people are so overly invested in ensuring that they are able to work through it that they often take on the problem themselves. All of this causes them to live in a constant state of stress.
They give too much to others.
‘Kind’ people are generous to a fault, readily giving everything and anything that they have if it will bring a smile to the face of those around them. In doing so, however, they forget that they too have needs, and due to how rare these people are there likely isn’t someone giving to them in the same way. When times get particularly tough and they are struggling they are often left with the harsh reality that there is no one to be found.
They are overly concerned with their efforts to fix everyone they meet.
While most of us acknowledge that we can’t ‘fix’ the people that we meet in life, kind people are not as willing to accept defeat and give up on others. The strongly believe that regardless of how hopeless it may feel, or how much the odds are stacked against them, it is their responsibility to assist everyone that they meet in being happier, stronger and more successful.
They struggle with the idea of self-satisfaction.
They are so focused on ensuring that everyone that they meet is properly taken care of that it becomes an obsession. Regardless of how much they have given and sacrificed they likely still believe that they have not done ‘enough’ for those around them. The fact that they keep falling short of their own desired accomplishments is hard for them to accept, believing that they need to give more, try harder and make more of an effort.
They make sacrifices without consideration of the impact on their own life.
In their attempts to ensure that the people they care about are well taken care of, kind people will often make sacrifices as necessary. The problem is that they don’t always consider the impact of these sacrifices on their own well-being. For example, they may stay up all night on the phone with you, talking you through a difficult problem, forgetting that they have to work bright and early the next morning.
They are often taken advantage of.
Bending over backwards to ensure that they keep everyone else happy all the time, kind people often find that everyone else is willing to walk all over them, taking them for granted without so much as a second thought. Not only are they hurt by the fact that they have been taken advantage of, they also struggle with the realization that the people they hold dear are capable of being this selfish.
They have incredibly high expectations for the human race.
Often, they don’t realize just how kind they are, believing that their life view is the ‘normal’ approach to life. Until such time that they learn the hard way that this isn’t true, this view of ‘normal’ creates some impossible high expectations for everyone that they meet. When they discover that others don’t share their incredible compassion they are left feeling disappointed and deceived.
They are over observant and overprotective.
When you find yourself within the inner circle of a kind person, they have personally committed that you are happy, healthy and safe regardless of what sacrifices they may have to face to make this happen. Even the smallest of problems in your life can send them running to your side, taking on the world with you and for you. This is, however, additional problems they are taking on in addition to their own struggles in life and it adds up.
They are overthinkers.
Highly intelligent, kind people can often be found so caught up in the details of every situation that they analyze and over-analyze the situation. They concern themselves with working out every potential outcome and what steps they can take to ensure that every situation ends with those around them happy, healthy and well taken care of. This constant thinking and analyzing of the world around them can be overwhelming.