Childhood Emotional Neglect is something a lot of people go through. It is what happens when your parents fail to accommodate to your emotional needs when raising you.
This is something that can happen in an otherwise loving and caring family. It is not something that happens to you as a child, well not technically because it is mainly just your parent’s failure to respond. We may not even know it has happened because since we can’t see it our brains don’t record it as an event.
As an adult who was emotionally neglected as a child, you will feel off as an adult, like something is not quite right. You will assume whatever is wrong is something that you did, but it is not. Once you understand the issue, you will be able to better deal with it and find a solution to help you heal.
Here are 10 Signs You Grew Up With Childhood Emotional Neglect:
1. You struggle with self-discipline.
Even if you think something is right, you have trouble standing up for it. You have a lot of trouble overcoming your own weaknesses, and you aren’t quite sure why.
2. You feel empty.
This can also be a numbness.
3. You pride yourself on not relying on others.
You feel as though there should never be a need to depend on other people for anything at all. You also struggle with asking for help when you need it.
4. You often want to be alone.
You like to spend time alone because most people just don’t understand you. You feel as though you don’t fit in with other people. While you would love to have real friends, there is not much room for connecting with other people in your mind.
Your unhappy moments don’t come on because something bad has happened, they simply show up out of nowhere and unannounced. You don’t know how to explain this, and it drives you mad.
6. You have trouble knowing what it is you’re feeling.
You know you are feeling something and that you should not be feeling it, but you don’t know what it is. Even when you are happy, you struggle with it. This feeling is odd and overwhelming in every possible way.
7. You have no compassion for yourself, but plenty for others.
You are much harder on yourself than you would be to anyone else. While you might let a co-worker know that their mistake is okay and easily fixable, when you do the same thing, it is the end of the world in your mind.
8. You feel flawed.
This is what I also referred to earlier. You feel like something is wrong, but you don’t know what. You think the problem is within you, but it is not, not really. You didn’t do anything wrong.
9. You find it easier to love animals than people.
Animals are much easier to get along with and to connect with. Animals do not judge you and love you unconditionally. You love that you never have to worry about your dog talking about you behind your back.
Parents that don’t notice their children’s emotions or simply choose to ignore them are sending a message that their feelings do not matter. As an adult, you continue on this harmful path of not taking your emotions into consideration, and you aren’t sure how to deal with the ones you do have. Once you understand why you are feeling this way, you can attack this CEN and learn to use your emotions.
Your feelings are real and they matter. You are not doing anything wrong. Knowing that you matter and taking your emotions into your own hands will change your life.