When you think of a ‘narcissistic person’ what comes to mind? Is the image in your mind that of a man or a woman?
We far too often overlook the female narcissist. She does just as much damage as her male counterpart and yet for some reason, we simply underplay her role. You see, the female narcissist engages in the same type of behavior that teenage girls do, relational aggression. This meaning they sometimes are simply cast into a group of ‘mean girls’ and never given a second thought.
The malignant female narcissist does not often outgrow the excessive sense of entitlement and continues to lack empathy throughout her life. She adjusts herself to the environment she is feeding off and then she lets things unfold. She knows she is protected by the stereotypes she wedges herself into the gentle lady, loving mother, sweet old lady, and so forth. While you would assume her to be nurturing and sweet she could just have you fooled.
The female narcissist can cause the same amount of damage if not more when compared to her male counterpart. She will be sadistic and find joy in taking others down. She is ruthless and will not give a second thought to devouring her victim.
She is competitive in every sense of the word. Relational aggression as mentioned above is a very common form of bullying among girls who are less expressive physically. She will blind her followers and use less noticed methods to take out any threats that come her way. Deception is one of her strong points. She will put those she sees as a threat on a pedestal and gain their trust all the while setting them up to fail and pushing them into the unknown in the end.
If you fear there may be a female narcissist in your group of friends see if the following applies to you:
Your friends sweet talk you from the beginning.
You notice the group speaking ill of other people when they are not around.
You notice an odd energy when you enter a room.
Someone is overly friendly to you but seems rude to others.
You find yourself being excluded from the group and notice people know things you only told to them.
If you really think about these things it really is teenage bullying all over again. According to Christine Hammond, LMHC (2015), the female narcissist battles with other females for dominance while males use their charm to achieve their goals. Females only use their charm and appearance to achieve superiority.
Another scary thing about the female narcissist is that she most often has a plethora of admirers. This consisting mainly of men who she has dated that just won’t go away, She uses them to evoke jealousy in her romantic partners and creates love triangles for the fun of it. She loves attention no matter what it takes to get it.
For more information on the female narcissist please check out the video below. If you think you may be the target of a female narcissist do not let them provoke you. Giving them the response they are looking for will only fuel the fire.