Childhood abuse is a horrific thing for any person to experience. It takes a major toll on your ability to be happy and most importantly your ability to love yourself.
Childhood abuse is such a saddening thing because it happens to the most defenseless and innocent creatures on Earth. Abused children do absolutely nothing to deserve the trauma they were forced to withstand. It’s one of the most frustrating things to explain because it is so hard for the victim to see it; to see that they did absolutely nothing to get themselves in that situation and that it is completely random. In fact, the inability to love oneself is one of the primary indicators that someone was neglected as a child.
Childhood neglect comes in a variety of different shapes and forms. It can range from varying intensities and just because a child isn’t being beaten black and blue does not mean they aren’t being abused. In fact, some of the worst scars are the ones nobody else can see; the emotional scarring of a neglected childhood can be detrimental to your ability to live a fulfilling life.
Neglect can be so subtle that a group of people can be witnessing it without ever noticing what’s actually happening. There are many different examples of childhood neglect, but here’s one example: In a household where the parents might have an extremely unstable relationship and tend to fight a lot. They use horrific name calling and low blows to each other that are graphic and obscene, especially to be said in the presence of a child. Which is exactly what happens. This might cause the child to become traumatized by the way his parents treat each other, causing him to form unreasonable fears and mental blocks. The child might even suffer greatly from depression as a result, however, neither one of the parents ever notice. They continue with their childish acts of violence and cruelty. This is neglect of what’s truly important: the well being of the child.
The consistent neglect of the child’s needs forces them to subconsciously create answers as to why they were never prioritized, taken into consideration, or why it was happening to them. More often than not, this causes you to blame yourself. You think there has to be something wrong with you, something you weren’t doing, something you did do, something, anything that might make you less deserving of two loving and caring parents.
When recovering from childhood neglect you must first look at things from a third person view. You have to think about things as if you were viewing someone else go through what you were. Find others to relate to and talk to about your emotional scarring. But most importantly, you MUST know you didn’t do anything to deserve what you went through.
There is nothing wrong with you. You are an extravagant, living, breathing, intelligent creature with a powerful soul and spirit. The first step to recovering from your childhood trauma is recognizing that the caretakers were the ones who had issues – not you.