We can all fall victim to unhappiness. It happens much more often than you might think, and even with the perfect life, we can still feel sadness.
When we stop putting ourselves first and care about the needs of those around us more than our own we are inviting unhappiness into our lives. Life can be draining and we all get worn out from time to time. These moments of exhaustion are the times in which we should stop. Stop and take a break. Not carry on suffering through it.
If you are crying yourself to sleep each night there is a problem. Trapping yourself in an endless loop of working, eating, crying, and then sleeping will not get you anywhere. One night while I was lying in bed sobbing over the stress I was dealing with I realized something. If I allow things to continue on the path they are on I will end up in one of two ways, dead or insane.
Neither of those two options sounded good to me so I decided to make a change in my life. I decided right then and there that I was going to take time for myself from then on. I would do things that I enjoyed doing and I would not let the guilt from saying ‘no’ bother me.
This, of course, was not as easy as I had thought it was going to be. I still had a job, responsibilities, and appointments. I couldn’t just disappear from my own life. How in the world could I tell my boss ‘no?’ things were piling up and I needed to figure out what to do. I couldn’t keep living my life this way.
I spent each night thinking about what to do, how to do it, and I realized in my stress and over thinking I had been seeing myself and my happiness as a burden, something that was meant to be achieved alone. I never once stopped to ask for help or even mentioned to my boss that I might want a few days off. I wasn’t being taken advantage of in the sense that I thought I was, I was forcing it on myself.
I was the one who smiled and offered my help no matter what I was the one who didn’t accept help when offered it. I was the one who was setting myself up to fail. My pain and suffering were my own fault.
I was a people pleaser and it was ruining my life. I finally started asking for help and letting people know what was really going on inside my head and things worked out for me. I got a few days off and was able to spend time on myself. I began relaxing more and worrying less. Things came out fine in the end. You see, people pleasing is fine in small doses but if you go overboard with it, you are sure to drown.
Reasons to break the people-pleasing addiction:
You are hurting yourself.
You are hiding your true self under a pile of lies.
You make yourself vulnerable in all the worst ways.
You would do anything to please those around you and it makes you vulnerable.
You are damaging your health.
When your body is screaming for rest, you should rest.
Pleasing others should not be your addiction. Love yourself and stop letting your needs come last. You are not selfish by saying ‘no.’ Your worth is not defined by your achievements or usefulness. You deserve happiness and all the wonderful things that come with it. Give yourself time to go after your dreams. You are worth it.