Being a strong woman is not as easy as it sounds and it is ten thousand times worse when you are doing it as someone dealing with high-functioning depression. Mental illness is something that many play down when they truly should not be.
Having high-functioning depression means going through the motions of each day almost as a robot. You experience little to no joy and your sense of purpose is all but gone away. The word numb is not even strong enough to experience the nothingness that you are feeling and yet you are able to still keep moving on. A strong woman with high-functioning depression is able to maintain a contagious smile all the while being unable to feel any peace surrounding it.
She stays strong for her family and for those by her side. She makes you feel safe and seems to have it all put together but inside she is fighting harder than you can imagine. She is constantly at war with herself, fighting to stay going down the path she has chosen for herself and refusing to give into these things she is feeling and not feeling all at the same time.
She sits up late at night crying because she doesn’t know if she will have the strength to get out of bed the next day but she does because; she has to. She is in pain, her body aches and her bones are sore. Yet, she still puts on a happy face and paints a pretty picture for her loved ones. She is struggling but no one knows it. She pushes herself far further than she should.
She smiles even though she doesn’t feel happy because she knows that she does have good times. She carries on as if nothing is wrong because she knows things will get better. Her support team is behind her whether they know she is suffering or not. They are the reason why she does all that she does each and every day.
Sometimes, even if for just a mere moment she feels a little better inside despite her high-functioning flare up. She makes sure the needs of everyone are met and sadly this does mean she puts herself last. She strives to be the best person she can be despite her pain and suffering.
She is able to still do good in this world all the while having this crippling mood disorder that sometimes feels like a 500-pound block of concrete weighing her down. Some people will argue that she is not strong because she chooses to go this road alone but the truth is she isn’t alone. She has everything she needs right beside her. Not all heroes wear capes.
She can be too hard on herself at times and she can be overly irritable but she knows what matters to her and where she stands. She knows that she has an illness and that the only way to get through her bad times it to walk right into the hell hole with a smile on her face and wait it out. If that is not strong then I don’t know what is.