When you break up with a narcissist you are opening up a whole can and a half of UGLY. While things will die down for a minute, by the time it is all said and done, you will see exactly what I mean.
This is an emotional roller coaster that is necessary but will still suck nonetheless. The only good way to break up with a narcissist is to make a clean break and cut contact completely. If you try to stay friends nothing good will follow. You cannot stick around and ‘fix’ the narcissist. When dumping one, their response can be damning or simple depending on how deep you have gotten yourself in and how much they are losing by no longer being able to use you.
The Narcissist’s 7 Stages Of A Break-up:
Stage 1: Feeling Threatened
Once you begin cutting ties the narcissist will know that you mean business this time. He or she will become angry and come out of the woodworks with some next level crazy shit. Be ready, anything is possible at this point.
Stage 2: Patience
After the initial anger, there will be a little moment of calmness. You will think the narcissist has moved on and while sometimes they have, that doesn’t mean they are through with you. They are buying their time and waiting for the most convenient point to make their entrance back into your life.
Stage 3: Popping In
The narcissist will weasel his or her way back in if they can. They will out of nowhere try to make nice and be ‘buddies.’ At this point, they do whatever they can to make you out to be the bad guy if you ignore them. They do this because they think if they can get close enough they can reignite the flame that you put out.
Stage 4: Apologizing
The narcissist will have been nice for a little while now and is now apologizing for the things that he or she put you through. This is a means of working to get back under your skin. The narcissist wants to gain your trust and make you ‘love’ them again.
Stage 5: Caring
The narcissist will pretend to care for you. He or she will treat you better than you have ever been treated before and all in the hopes of winning you back. This point is usually where they do win or if you are able to stay strong they realize no matter what they do they have lost the game. Losing the game is something the narcissist does not do well with.
Stage 6: Tearing You Down
After the narcissist has realized he or she will not be winning you back, this is their last ditch effort. They try to break down who you are in hopes of making you run to them. They want to be your comfort blanket if at all possible.
Stage 7: Really Moving On
Finally after all of that is said and done and the narcissist has damaged you further and still not managed to get you back he or she will move on. Of course, they will find someone else to use and abuse in your place. I strongly suggest not allowing the narcissist back in at stage 3 and moving on with your life without all of this bullshit.
The narcissist will never change. You are far better off without him or her in your life. Picking up the pieces of who you are is much easier without him or her around. Do not fall for their tricks. You deserve so much better.