Have you ever been around someone who seemed to drain you without even trying? Chances are that person was toxic.
For those who do not know, Deepak Chopra is an author, alternative medicine advocate, public speaker, and so much more. If you have ever heard him speak you can tell his roots are very deeply woven in Buddhism. He has so much wisdom to offer the world it is UNREAL. If you ever need spiritual guidance his words may be exactly what you’ve been looking for.
Below I am going to go over some of the things he has said and made clear in regards to toxic people or ‘difficult people.’ If you think you may be dealing with a toxic individual in your life then you need to read this. We are not here for others to drain, protect your energy.
5 Signs You Are Dealing With A Toxic Person:
1. You can never get a work in when speaking to this person.
No matter what the subject it is always a one-sided conversation. There is no room for you even when there should be. This person does not value your word, they merely want to get theirs out.
2. This person is always blaming you for things you cannot control.
You go out together and something happens that ruins your plans, no matter what that thing was it somehow is your fault. Whether it was the other person forgetting their wallet or anything under the sun somehow you caused it. This gets old fast.
3. This person is aggressive and challenging.
The person you are dealing with becomes aggressive in situations that shouldn’t be taken that seriously. This person is hot-headed, to say the least, and is a challenge to deal with most of the time. You may feel as if you are literally sporting a child around.
4. This person can make any good day into something extremely dramatic.
They overreact to everything and like to gossip. Even the smallest inconvenience becomes a huge deal to them. This can be quite embarrassing.
5. This person is exhausting to be around.
This person drains you of your energy. They are overly negative and seek the positive energy radiating off of you. You may even feel trapped.
When this happens we can either deal with it or do something about it. While to begin with the person may not display any of these signs as time goes on they do. According to the Chopra Center, there are seven steps you can take when it comes to dealing with these kinds of people if you must deal with them. We all know that while cutting the toxic person out of your life is the best option it is not always an option.
The seven-step method goes as follows:
Step 1: Use the STOP Model to Avoid Reactivity
S = Stop whatever you’re doing
T = Take 3 deep breaths
O = Observe how your body feels
P = Proceed with kindness and compassion
Step 2: See Through the Control Drama the Other Person is Using
This one is essentially just paying attention to what it is the person is doing. Identify for yourself what kind of manipulation they are using on you. For instance, are they being withdrawn, nice, or even playing the victim.
Step 3: Don’t Take it Personally
For me, this is one of the hardest and most important steps in this process. While it may feel like this person’s words are an attack on you never perceive them as that. Do not let this person get to you.
Step 4: Practice Defenselessness
When being confronted this comes in handy. Literally just sit the conflict out. When this person comes to you merely accept their position and cut the interaction off. While this is also quite hard to do it is not about being powerless but more so about creating a peaceful interaction.
Step 5: Walk Away if Necessary
We should never be afraid to walk away. If you feel as if this person and the toxic exchange, in general, is draining you too much move on. You do not have to prove anything to anyone.
Step 6: See the Experience as an Evolutionary Opportunity
This one boils down to how you perceive dealing with this person. Do not see it as a chore, see it as a learning experience. It really does help.
Step 7: Resonate Compassion
Difficult people are of course challenging. Remember that no matter what it looks like these people are doing the best they can as well. Compassion is only something the strong are capable of and you are very strong.
For a more in-depth explanation of these seven steps click here. With that being said, you must be responsible for your part in the interaction itself. As Deepak Chopra has said detachment is always the best response but if you can interact without having a reaction you will be clear-headed enough to make progress in relating to this difficult person.
The more you allow toxic people to take over your life the more toxic your emotions are going to become. For information on how to deal with toxic emotions check out the video below. We obviously have a lot to learn fro Deepak Chopra. Enjoy!