People who grew up in an abusive household suffer from a variety of developmental damage that can even be difficult to identify. Our primary instinct in every situation is survival, and sometimes it can be hard to stop.
Growing up in an abusive household takes a giant toll on you. It affects you in ways you never imagined it would, or even could. It sneaks its way into your personal relationships, your work life, and basically any everyday task we have to complete. Childhood trauma is likely to be one of the worst things a person can suffer from. As a child you are essentially unaware of everything going on around you. You have no idea how deeply it affects you and you can’t help but to blame yourself. However, you have to learn that it’s not. It never was, and it was only an unfortunate random draw of cards that you ended up in such a horrific situation. But it does not define you. You are much greater than the trauma you’ve dealt with.
Childhood trauma affects your life in a series of ways. You might not realize it, but you can see evidence of your abuse in many different aspects of your life. In fact, only people who have experienced childhood abuse will relate to these hard learned life lessons.
1. You Hate Being Sad, But You’re Scared To Be Too Happy
When you were a young child you had very high hopes with no doubts, but you were probably repeatedly let down. Neglecting parents do not take the hopes of their kids into consideration at all, or the children as a whole at that. Nobody likes to be sad of course, but you are afraid to let yourself get too happy. You do this because every time you got happy and content with life your entire conscious self was shattered in disappointment.
2. You’re Very Sensitive
People who come from a neglected childhood are extremely sensitive. As cliche as it sounds, they do have a tremendous amount of open wounds. It’s almost like they’re triggered by everyday things consistently. They hate their sensitivity and they rarely admit it, but they are definitely HSP’s.
3. You’re Never Put First
It is in our human nature to desire being the number one priority to someone else. However, as we grow older we defy our selfish nature as much as we can out of courtesy for other people. But, you don’t think about the part of your life where being put first was essential – your childhood days. Nurturing plays an important role in our development as a person and those who were never put first as a child struggle with never being put first.
4. You Don’t Bother Others With Your Problems
This is another side effect of never being put first. Because your problems were never a concern of the neglectful caretakers, you instinctively do not bother other people with your problems. It doesn’t matter how many times someone tells you that they’re there for you, you still refuse to burden others with your problems.
5. You Can’t Be An Attention Seeker in A World Full of Narcissists
At some point you might even muster up the willpower to go to someone else with your problems. However, in today’s society, many people lie about cruel and very sensitive things to gain attention. This has essentially caused anyone to reach out for help to be labelled as an attention seeker.
6. Nothing Good Comes Out of Anger
Anger is an emotion that scares you very deeply. You associate very bad things happening out of anger and it honestly scares the crap out of you. You tend to avoid conflict as much as you can and it can sometimes cause people to run over you.
7. You Can’t Rely On Other People
You probably suffer with relying on any other person, even loved ones. You feel like relying on other people is just setting yourself up for disappointment. When it comes down to it all, you’d really just rather not risk the chance.
8. You Make People Feel Awkward When Mentioning Your Childhood
Sometimes when you are just going with the flow of a conversation, something from your childhood can pop up. You might blatantly say it, not thinking anything about it, and make the people around you feel awkward because they don’t know how to respond.
9. Nobody is Genuinely Interested In Other People
Because of the difficult endeavors you dealt with, you have a special ability at knowing the true intentions of others and you read people really well. As a side effect of this ability you are aware that nobody today is genuinely interested in what you have to say. People just talk to each other to have conversation, they listen to reply, not to learn. Thus, you rarely even engage conversation with other people because it’s worthless.
10. You Have Trust Issues
You can’t seem to trust other people because you were let down so often as a child. This repeated letdown you experienced in your younger years had a tremendous effect on your brain’s ability to establish trust. It’s a very important time in your life because your brain is developing so rapidly.
11. Overall, You Just Want Love
When it comes down to a bare minimum and you have let down every single one of your walls, you really just want to be loved. You love other people deeply and for some reason you feel undeserving of love, yet you desire it so much. You do deserve love. You deserve love as much as any other person in the world – because you’re an individual soul and are capable of amazing things. Never forget that.
You can recover from your childhood trauma, but first you must embrace the delicate recovery process. Be patient and I promise you’ll be turning wounds into wisdom in no time!